... is worth a thousand insults.
As soon as we saw the inclusion of customizable taunts in yesterday's WiFi-tastic Smash Bros. Dojo update, we started drafting up the four jeers that we'll be arming ourselves with when the game comes out. We quickly dismissed the mundane ("U GOT PWND LULZ"), instead investigating ideas more ridiculous ("It's over 9000!") and annoying (Spamming, "Hi, I'm Daisy!" while playing as the brunette princess.).
What put-downs are you planning to use to demoralize your friends? We've already decided on the four bits of scurrilous text that we're going to map to our D-pads: "so much depends upon," "a red wheel barrow," "glazed with rain water," and "beside the white chickens." That's right, we're going to drop poetry on you suckas.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
9-19-2007 @ 9:12AM
David Hinkle said...
Hahahaha, "Lair controls great!" is too damn good.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:16AM
THRILLHO said...
i dont get how you can use the taunts with all the control schemes, like the gc controller and only the wii remote...
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:21AM
Paul said...
1) Lair Controls Great!
2) Penis.
3) Haha. 0wnz0r3d.
4) Nevermore...
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:21AM
Paul said...
Thank you, David, very proud of my "lair controls"...obviously a sony exec will be using that one...
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:27AM
mobilesworking said...
Wii-liam Carlos Wii-liams. Yeah, I went there.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:40AM
Valien said...
You Killed
My Father
Prepare
To Die
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:03AM
knot_U said...
"She's not a CHRISTIAN!!!"
knot_U
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:04AM
troy said...
I'm the type of guy what changes things like that all the time. I think I would start out with...
1) Hey! Read This Quick!
2) We Are FIGHTING!
3) You've Been Practicing!
4) Pressing Down Button Now!
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:08AM
guttertalk said...
Poetry taunts? Some Shakespeare then . . . .
I do desire we may be better strangers.
You basket-hilt stale juggler, you!
Thou unnecessary letter!
Castilian King Urinal!
Thou lump of foul deformity!
Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:13AM
Don Day said...
1. Give me some sugar baby!
2. Groovy!
3. Good, bad, I'm the guy with the the pokeball.
4. Come get some!
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:15AM
Danny said...
My first one will be U R MR GAY.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:16AM
troy said...
How long can these taunts be? Surely some of those from William are too long.
"Your taunts suck" will be my newest taunt.
1) "Your Taunts Suck"
2) "Yawn. Still Talking?"
3) "I think YOU'RE a douche!"
4) "You may have hit me NOW..."
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:28AM
Azar said...
I wrote an essay about that poem last year. That's deep stuff to throw on somebody. Brawl is practically screaming for a headset, though.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:32AM
Muffinius said...
1. WRYYYYYY
2.Do a barrel roll!
3.Get off my lawn!
4.To the death!
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 11:07AM
vidGuy said...
Is anybody else concerned that these bubbles will cover up and hide areas of the screen? I might create a spam taunt of max characters so that I can use it as a strategic advantage...
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 11:08AM
haman said...
1- yint.
2- all day!!!
3- i'm a machine, gene!
4- i'm built for this, son!
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 12:05PM
James said...
Do they mention how you'll do taunts if you use the "wiimote only" control scheme?
Is that still an option?
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 12:22PM
Matt said...
#1 - "Well excuse me, princess!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPxY8lpYAUM
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 12:36PM
No.7 said...
1- is that the best u can do?
2- im sorry... did that hurt?
3- hahahaha
4- mess with the best, u die like the rest
hahaha..., and some other stuff that are sure to piss my friends off.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 12:42PM
Jay said...
LOL @ "U R MR GAY"
I am Error!
SPOOOON!!!
"..."
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 2:17PM
BluClouds7 said...
"Theres something wrong with the G-Diffuser!" - when i kill fox
"this is too easy..." - Dan from Killer 7
"I AM ERROR"
"BEEEEEEAAAAAWWW!"
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 2:19PM
chiki said...
- asl
- f/13/lvegas
- i take off my cloak and wizards hat
- n3g
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 2:56PM
thebigL said...
1.Finish the Fight
2.Beleive in a Hero
3.Nintendo Games > 3rd party games
4.Wii NEED online FPS
5.Nintendo doesn't care about gamers -kayne west
6.I'm buying a 360 and playing halo before I play this game
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 3:36PM
Zan said...
BUTTSECKS KIRBYS! (>^_^)>(>O.o)>
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 3:59PM
Donald said...
What is a man
A miserable
Little Pile
Of Secrets
No room for "Have at you!", sadly.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 4:12PM
Andrew said...
Do the Mario.
My Wang
Your mom
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
*Teabags*
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 4:29PM
Author X said...
Some of these are pretty awesome...
Some other ideas:
"OBJECTION!"
"HOLD IT!"
"TAKE THAT!"
"...in America!" ( http://www.yugiohtheabridgedseries.com )
My map will probably look something like this, though:
Up: Curse you,
Left: Take that,
Right: Archetypal 1980's
Down: Cartoon Hero!
Useful for both curses and gloating! Of course, it would work even better against, say, one of the Marios or Link or the Princesses.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 4:32PM
badboy007ing said...
#1-im sorry try again
#2-just warming up
#3-my bad
#4-where is he
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 5:19PM
LAZoftheTamarinds said...
1. Do a barrel roll.
2. IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER! or SHOOP DA WHOOP!
3. While you're reading this I will hit you.
4. Really I can haz cheeseburger
5. Snape kills DUMBLEDORE!
6. hi.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 5:50PM
Mr Khan said...
Bantha Poodoo
Buy Pokemon Battle Revolution (this phrase infuriates a friend of mine)
Cherry Blossom (from the last Eureka 7 theme)
You just got killed by Kirby
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 6:55PM
Croove55 said...
Heh, looks like I was wrong about everyone making final destination taunts.
#1: CC, plz
#2: *pelvic thrust*
#3: O shi-
#4: IT'S A TRAP!
I can see those coming in handy.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 8:07PM
Croove55 said...
I am Croove55, ender of topics.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 8:19PM
spazzook said...
1. you know where you are?
2. your in the jungle babe
3. TIME TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 8:51PM
FlimFlammy said...
1) This is SPARTA (when you hit them off the edge)
2) Im the god-damn Batman (after an aerial downward attack)
3) Hi, I'm Daisy (ultimate annoyance)
4) Read a book "____" (fill in blank with derogatory name for African Americans)
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 8:52PM
iofthestorm said...
1. Press Z or R to do a Barrel Roll! (sure to cause confusion as noobs scramble to find an R button on their Wii Remote)
2. It's just a flesh wound.
3. ...
4. BOOM HEADSHOT!
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 9:55PM
DBuck_Eye said...
1. Lick my balls.
2. Suck it 'natch.
3. the MeSSIyah will rise again.
4. Why not.
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 10:17PM
Nman55 said...
UP - "Yo momma told me to give you this!"
DOWN - "I'll pwn your face."
LEFT - "You're a bigger loser than I am."
RIGHT - "Get off my stage sucka."
Reply
9-19-2007 @ 11:40PM
Mike said...
Haha, I love the Mortal Kombat reference (let's see how many people figure this out)! Yo, have we all forgotten the classic: p0ned!
Reply
9-20-2007 @ 3:53AM
Sean W. said...
Okay lesse...
1. SUPRISE COCKFAGS!
2. THIS IS CAKE TOWN!
3. HABEEB IT!
4. SENTCHAAAA!
5a. Did you
5b. get that
5c. thing I
5d. sentcha
6. Hahaha! Cookies on dowels.
7. Hahaha! Paunch.
8. Hahaha! Barrel Roll.
9. Hahaha! Bang.
10. Hahaha! Not to scale.
11. WELL WASN'T THAT THE BEE'S KNEES?
12. LOOKIT ME! 'M-HAWT!
13. DROPPIN' Bs ON 'EM!
14. YOU'RE A LITTLE LOW ON AIR!
15. That's Mama Luigi to you Mario! *Wheeze*
Reply
9-20-2007 @ 5:35AM
Raidein said...
"You got knocked the f*** out!"
"I'm Rick James B***!"
"Pathetic."
"HEEEY YOU GUYS!!
"HA! HA!"
"Pwnd!"
"
Reply
9-20-2007 @ 5:52AM
Raidein said...
Oh yeah and....
"Got ya B****!"
"You moron."
"HIGH FIVE!!"
"Paybacks a B****!"
"BOOM SHAK A LAK A!
"Fatality
"Say Goodbye."
Reply
9-20-2007 @ 7:53PM
Quiggy said...
UP - "This! Is! SPARTA!" Especially good for knocking someone off the ring.
LEFT - "It's a trap!"
RIGHT - "All your base are belong to me."
DOWN - "O RLY?"
Reply