Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Publisher Marvelous Interactive has finally replaced its King Story (or Project O, if you prefer its "working title") teaser page with a more substantial site, and, joy of all joys, there's an English version!

Along with listing King Story as a cross between a role-playing game and a "simulated life game," the new hub has information on a few of the characters and creatures that populate the village. The UMAs, Unidentified Mysterious Animals, are particularly interesting -- miniature humanoids with a featureless turnips for heads, mushrooms bearing the faces of old men, and spicy dragons!

We also love the story: "In a small village, there was this little timid young boy named Corobo. He was often lonely and too shy to make friends. Until one day when he received a mysterious Crown. This Crown had a mysterious power. The power 'to charm people and make them follow any orders ... '"

Any orders, you say? We can already imagine ourselves smiling cruelly, watching our minions toil under a terrible sun to erect a monument immortalizing our rule. An advisor pleads, "Your highness, this cannot go on! They'll revolt if you continue to push them like this."

We answer, "Obviously, you've no idea what power this Crown holds over them. Lest they wish their women and children sold to the Spore slavers, they'll break their backs completing the obelisk." The advisor opens his mouth to object, but finds that he's suddenly paralyzed, frozen in place by an unseen force. He screams silently, a sentient statue, unable to live or die for an eternity.