
Oh dear. This isn't going to be pretty. We're going to hazard a guess that Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's opinion of Super Smash Bros. Brawl doesn't exactly coincide with the view taken by most of our readers -- frankly, it sounds like he hated every minute of Nintendo's scrapper.
But before you start punching out that hate-filled, trembling-with-rage email to the man, stop right there and hear him out, because you may just find yourself agreeing with some of his points -- even we had to concede that a number of his grievances have bugged us in the past. With that in mind, take some deep breaths and head past the break for one of the most venomous Zero Punctuation reviews to date, and the usual dose of NSFW language.
[Thanks, Roto13!]





Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
4-23-2008 @ 5:17PM
xeleion said...
Yep, I agree. Doesn't change my love for the game, but he does make some valid points.
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4-23-2008 @ 5:18PM
Jake said...
As much as I hate to say it, he does make a few points. But you've also got to remember that you can play the Subspace Emmisary with two people. Also, I'm the best in our neighborhood right now and I don't play that much, even online. I'm just good at games. The review was interesting, but he still needs to back up what he says a little bit better.
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4-23-2008 @ 5:19PM
WooDy said...
I do have to agree with his point about unlockables, with a game that is marketed as a multiplayer experience, it's kinda frustrating to have to unlock stuff!
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4-23-2008 @ 5:23PM
ArmorForVictor said...
i have to agree that having to play through the subspace all the way through to unlock sonic (which i finally got around to doing) and snake (earlier than sonic) was pretty stupid. i mean i enjoyed the subspace, but i only played it to unlock sonic (who is my favorite brawler now) and since nintendo kept on showing about the two non nintendo characters in the game they should have been unlocked from the beginning. other than that i love the game and hearing the emerald hill zone music bought back some memories of playing sonic on my genesis.
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4-23-2008 @ 11:36PM
z3r0w1n9 said...
Huh? You don't have to play all the way through to unlock Sonic... I have him unlocked right now and neither me nor my daughters are anywhere *near* being finished with the single-player stages. We've just played a bunch of two- and three-player and "A new enemy approaches" occasionally (or whatever its says...)
4-24-2008 @ 12:31AM
angelbabe531 said...
Lol, right. I got Sonic after playing some classic modes. He was one of the earlier characters I unlocked. I told my b/f I had had him and he was like "already?!?"
4-23-2008 @ 5:24PM
Roto13 said...
He makes some good points, but he also says a could of pretty stupid things.
He kind of contradicts himself several times (Talking about “That Guy” who’s too good to be any fun to play with moments after talking about being able to win against anyone by mashing buttons) and he makes a couple of stupid assumptions, like that Mother 3 would sell more than Mario Kart when Mother 2 was a commercial failure for Nintendo and Mother 3 sold less in it’s entire life than Mario Kart Wii sold in three days in Japan.
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4-23-2008 @ 5:25PM
Roto13 said...
Also, I don't know why people keep complaining that they have to unlock stuff in single player. They DON'T. All of the characters (and maybe the stages? I dunno) can be unlocked through vs. mode.
4-23-2008 @ 5:30PM
sn1per said...
Well, to unlock Sonic by playing vs. mode, you'd have to play for the 10 hours, which Yahtzee DID complain about.
4-23-2008 @ 5:42PM
Mr Khan said...
Please, if you set up some fun, ultra short 50 HP Matches or Sudden Death matches, you could get to that number in one fun-filled time period of play
4-23-2008 @ 6:23PM
David Hinkle said...
Seriously, if you turn the CPU on weak and set their damage to 150%, you can unlock every character in the game in, I dunno, 2 hours?
4-23-2008 @ 7:38PM
Mr.ESC said...
I wasn't pissed about unlocking Sonic.
I was pissed because he appears in one miserable cinematic at the end of the game with no back-story whatsoever. Like if the developers forgot to place him or just tried to ignore him until they realize they were forced to place him into the game.
Seriously they tease us with Snake at the first fourth of the game and we don’t get to play with him until part 3 of 4.Olimar appearance was pretty pointless as well put he appears in more scenes than Sonic.
Seriously I was hoping more for Sonic than just a miserable cutscene. There is also the issue with the other unlockable characters such as Toon Link, Jigglypuff and wolf which never were introduced in the main storyline and that just plain sucks.
4-23-2008 @ 7:41PM
Roto13 said...
I can't help but laugh ridiculously hard whenever someone complains about the story in a fighting game. When they complain about the story in a massive crossover fighting game, well, I think I might need to go lie down.
4-23-2008 @ 9:53PM
samfish said...
"I was pissed because he appears in one miserable cinematic at the end of the game with no back-story whatsoever. Like if the developers forgot to place him or just tried to ignore him until they realize they were forced to place him into the game."
Well...that's basically what happened.
Sonic was apparently the last character added in long after all the initial planning had gone down. The deal to put Sonic in Brawl was more or less made after SSE was already started and, it seems, they felt they couldn't go back and work him in some other way. Hence, Sonic appears at the very end of SSE.
Sucks doubly so because that means no Mario and Sonic co-op levels or scenes in SSE. All the more reason we need a stand alone Smash Bros Adventure game with Sonic.
...and a story that actually makes sense and doesn't need a freakin' 10 page post on it's official website to explain what the Hell was going on.
4-24-2008 @ 6:44AM
Dio said...
"I was pissed because he appears in one miserable cinematic at the end of the game with no back-story whatsoever. Like if the developers forgot to place him or just tried to ignore him until they realize they were forced to place him into the game."
Tabuu was gathering worlds etc, and it just so happened to open a rift to the Sega universe. The reason why it makes sense that Sonic doesn't show up until Tabuu does his thing is because you can't have good crossovers with different universes (Nintendo and Sega have their own respective universes) until a cataclysmic event happens. At least, it just doesn't make sense to me why Sonic would be in a Nintendo world/universe. All of these different franchise characters coexisting make sense because Nintendo established it under the premises of the Smash universe. It can be seen as a parallel universe related to each characters' worlds/universes, but it may not even have an effect. Smash is probably an alternate timeline. Sonic was never a Nintendo character, but everyone else is.
I hope I explained this to you, because it's really complex D: If you really need to, look up things in the Marvel universe, or Earth 616.
Anyway, I think that was a sufficient backstory. Sonic is a hero, so he would naturally try to defeat the villain responsible for putting his world in danger. The rules about universes explains why characters from other universes, such as Sonic, would finally appear after the entrance to Subspace was opened and Tabuu gathered all of the locations.
Or are you complaining that he just didn't have that great of a cameo?
4-23-2008 @ 5:34PM
TheWarlock said...
WHAT THE HELL?! This is NOT button smasher!!! Seriously though, ask any person with the slightest bit of good reviewing skills and he would say that "Ess Ess B B" isn't a button smasher.
'Nuff said.
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4-23-2008 @ 5:43PM
SoshiKitai said...
It CAN be a button masher. That's the problem. :P
4-23-2008 @ 6:07PM
murray b said...
But can you lose to someone who just randomly presses buttons? Yes you can. With some of the guys I just hit buttons because I don't know the moves yet, but I still seem to have about the same win ratio that I have when I play with Link or Snake, except when I play as Kirby, I smash with Kirby.
4-23-2008 @ 6:41PM
Roto13 said...
Then you're pretty bad at the game.
4-23-2008 @ 8:13PM
TheOverlord#2 SPEAKS: YOU READ IT NOW(Brawl: 1461-5875-9923) said...
Your friends must suck if they can lose when you just mash buttons.
Smash Bros. is about strategy, knowing your moves and when to use them, and as Nate from NOA said in Nintendo Power, doing stuff you'd never expect at a split second.
4-23-2008 @ 5:39PM
Wiseguy said...
Super Smash Bros Brawl is my favorite game ever. Period. A more enjoyable multiplayer experience there is not.
However, It's always great to hear a clever and poignant opinion from someone with a different perspective. Well done Yahtzee! Keep up the great work.
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4-23-2008 @ 6:05PM
TheWarlock said...
"keep up the great work"
Well if you call Cheap Shots, illegitimate points and slander "good work", then by all means : Keep up the great work Yahtzee. I hope you learn to act like you have a pair.
4-23-2008 @ 6:59PM
Dopple Boppler said...
No need to act like the guy came to your house and broke your copy of the game, Warlock. Smash Bros. was made first and foremost for Nintendo fanboys, and it just happens to be simple enough and packed with enough widely known characters that a lot of non-gamers can enjoy it, too. If you don't like Nintendo then you're not going to like Smash Bros., period. And who cares if someone else doesn't like the game, so long as you like it?
4-23-2008 @ 7:44PM
Mr.ESC said...
TheWarlock don't you think you are exaggerating.
It was funny and everyone their own. Just because he didn't like Brawl as much as you do you don’t have to wear your “Fuck Yahtzee” shirt.
Also fanboys wanted him to review this game (I guess) so there. Is hard to complain about games like COD4 or Brawl not because they are perfect but attempting to do so only results in insults and lost of your fanbase also that they are so popular that doing a funny review about them is pretty pointless.
FYI I loved the game except that time when Ganon was a b*tch and I was very pissed off and I kind of broke my Wii and it still in repair :(
4-23-2008 @ 10:09PM
TheWarlock said...
Mr. ESC
I was just saying how wrong it really is to point out a game's "Flaws" and not focus on the good points at all. I'm frankly appalled at your lack of Brawl Pride if you can just sit idly by while some douche like Yahtzee exploits every single bad thing about [arguibly] the best Wii game.
Good day.
4-23-2008 @ 11:39PM
Wiseguy said...
For the record: I totally disagree with many of Yahtzee's criticisms as well. But I also respect his right to express his honest opinion of every game he reviews.
Yahtzeee is a straight shooter. He says exactly what's on his mind 100% of the time, regardless of what others think. That's why his reviews are always so bloody awesome.
4-23-2008 @ 5:44PM
PoisonedV said...
As usual, Yahtzee is right. Smash brothers sucks, it always has and just gets worse.
Reply
4-23-2008 @ 8:17PM
TheOverlord#2 SPEAKS: YOU READ IT NOW(Brawl: 1461-5875-9923) said...
Oh. My. Gawd.
Don't come on WII Fanboy to flame and expect good results. Go back to PS Fanboy or w/e and leave us alone.
4-23-2008 @ 8:50PM
SoshiKitai said...
Hitting a man who wants you to hit him will only make him come back for more, Overlord.
4-23-2008 @ 9:16PM
TheOverlord#2 SPEAKS: YOU READ IT NOW(Brawl: 1461-5875-9923) said...
Great advice. xP
4-23-2008 @ 11:08PM
PoisonedV said...
Exactly what I expect from you idiots- Automatically assuming I am a microsoft or sony slave or some shit. I play whats good, not try and be faithful to one shitty company or the next.
4-23-2008 @ 5:49PM
Mr Khan said...
Yeah, this time he picks much less legitimate gripes. The whole issue with Camera distance (which is sporadic, but on stages like New Pork City, a real nuisance) is legitimate, but whatever other fighting games are, Smash Bros has never been a button masher, simply because it isn't button-combo based, and there is usually too much room to just jam buttons and hope something connects
And i feel that making certain characters unlockable is a fine practice, even in multiplayer games, as long as they are not integral characters. Plus considering the fact that even SSE is MULTIPLAYER, you can't be forced to work alone to do it
Though he loses points, massive points, for saying "who the fuck is Marth." Massive points
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4-23-2008 @ 6:04PM
murray b said...
He knew who Marth was, he was making the point that 90% of the people that buy this game really have no idea who the fuck Marth is.
4-23-2008 @ 7:47PM
Mr.ESC said...
The truth is that I didn't know who the f** was Marth as well when I played Melee(He is in melee right or it was Ike).
Since I have never touched a Fire Emblem game is hard to know who the f*ck is him.Same with Earthbound characters,I was a PC gamer back in the day.
4-23-2008 @ 8:22PM
TheOverlord#2 SPEAKS: YOU READ IT NOW(Brawl: 1461-5875-9923) said...
A PC Gamer with a name like Mr.ESC? xP
4-23-2008 @ 8:58PM
SoshiKitai said...
Hell, I didn't even know who Marth was either in Melee.
I knew Fire Emblem existed, but I never played the darn thing (until GC and Wii). Sorry, but that's just how most of us are.
If people think back to NINTENDO ALL-STARS... they'll easily go like "What? Who's Marth? Who's Olimar? And who the heck is Lucario?"...
As far as people are concerned, Pikachu's the only Pokemon that exists.
As for SSE... who the heck has time to play with you through the whole thing? Unless you're a hardcore gamer that's a bum that sleeps in your friend's house, it's rare that you'd both rather play SSE than a Brawl.
And fact is: SSB CAN be a button-masher. And nothing wrong with losing to a button-masher. If you lose against a button-masher, it doesn't mean you suck, it means you're not a pro-gamer... and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Yes, it can have combos, but if you compared the game to say... King of Fighters... it is HEAVILY considered as a button masher, since you can connect combos by randomly pressing buttons. (actually a better example would be Yu Yu Hakusho on the PS2... the game was awful unless you MASTERED combos... you literally CANNOT FIGHT AT ALL unless you do combos... seriously, not exaggerating)
Sooo... the video has valid points.
4-23-2008 @ 10:26PM
TheWarlock said...
"And nothing wrong with losing to a button-masher. If you lose against a button-masher, it doesn't mean you suck, it means you're not a pro-gamer... and that's nothing to be ashamed of."
I will, despite whatever anyone else labels it, always laugh at someone who trys their best, but loses to a button masher.... HAHAHAHAHHA! How does anyone NOT get that? FUNNY!
4-23-2008 @ 6:02PM
dlc3007 said...
I like the game, but I can't really argue with any of his points.
... and wtf is Marth anyway?
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4-23-2008 @ 6:15PM
flameofdoom666 said...
Marth is the main character from the first Fire Emblem on the famicom.
4-23-2008 @ 6:11PM
Krimtcw said...
Wow, what a joke, thanks for the laugh.
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4-23-2008 @ 6:19PM
Eternityx said...
That is so true...but unlike him I enjoy other people...so for me its real fun :D
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4-23-2008 @ 6:24PM
mian said...
I bet he gets a mega traffic boost for this. Mentioning Brawl in any random place equals traffic. Praising gets a little more. Insulting it brings servers to a grinding halt.
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4-23-2008 @ 6:29PM
PoisonedV said...
Thats because fanboys actively search out criticism of it, just to get offended.
4-23-2008 @ 9:01PM
SoshiKitai said...
Yep, Poison. In fact, ALL FANS do that.
...especially with bands, yeesh.
4-23-2008 @ 6:25PM
Jint said...
He makes valid points on why one wouldn't play smash.
Getting the hyped characters, stages, trophies (or unlockables) takes a good chunk of time, probably beyond 1 or 2 game sessions, whichever way you go about doing it. Doing this isn't friendly to the average gamer, or one who isn't too friendly to fighting games.
Button masher...I could see what he means. At its most basic, A = normal attack B = special, and the other is block/throw, with maybe a jump button depending on the controller/person. Sure, there's more to it, but that all there really is.
Add to that, I can understand where he's coming from on who is 'Marth'. I still don't really know who he is, except a guy with a sword from Fire Emblem. There are characters western gamers aren't even aware of in Smash.
Pretty funny on 'that guy'. Its true, oh so true.
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4-23-2008 @ 6:26PM
WillTheSecond said...
"... and wtf is Marth anyway?"
He's from Fire Emblem. (I think?) Good character to play as, though I slightly prefer Ike/Roy.
If you don't like Smash Bros. you have no soul. Clearly that means Yahtzee is a replicant.*
But seriously, he makes good points, but the central point about it being a button masher is completely untrue, as has been said many times above. You do, however, have to learn to love and understand the chaos, which for some people is difficult, I guess. Also, a skilled player can obliterate a novice (I've been on both sides of that).
P.S. Kirby FTW.
*Ooo yeah, Blade Runner reference.
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4-23-2008 @ 6:32PM
PoisonedV said...
It is a button masher. Compare it to any fighting games that have masters- youll see a master will beat a button masher in most other fighting games more than SSBB
4-23-2008 @ 7:18PM
Mr Khan said...
I'd figure its the other way around, actually. A button masher in another game might accidentally activate the combo of death, whereas a Smash master will crush a button master consistently
4-23-2008 @ 9:05PM
SoshiKitai said...
@Poison: That's easily explainable - most fighting games are too "different" for most people, and have unfamiliar and strange characters...
A game such as this, easily gets players, of all-kinds. Sooo... you see a lot more people who call themselves "pro" and lose.
Nothing wrong with losing to button-mashers, it's funny. :P
4-23-2008 @ 6:27PM
Neil said...
Another great Zero Punctuation video!
Reply