Nintendo Wii Fanboy

You know, you know what? We've had it up to here with some of the things we have to deal with everyday, and dammit, we think it's time we let people know. This crap has to stop.

Where to start? Let's talk about the freaking CPUs they stick us with here at the Fanboy offices. Intel Core 2 Duo's: pathetic. We mean, what the hell? It's like two normal Intel processors duct-taped together. Look, we need insane processing power to make these blog posts funny and interesting, you know? These conditions are unworkable.

And let's not even mention roller coasters. Mechanical and electrical engineers just aren't taking these things seriously enough; they need to start using the medium for proper artistic expression. We need to tell a story full of meaning and character depth during these rides, or people are going to feel unfulfilled and pissed off, like us. And we're really pissed right now.

Finally, to Maxis, developers of the best-selling PC game of all-time and the future title Spore, expected to perhaps exceed that mark set by the exemplary Sims some years back: make a game that doesn't suck ass, okay?

Ugh, these numbers? Where is the emotion? Where is the meaning? Life is so meaningless ....

- DS Lite: 111,814 24,314 (17.86%)
- PSP: 66,156 34,054 (33.96%)
- Wii: 57,972 20,534 (26.16%)
- PS3: 44,000 24,685 (127.80%)
- PS2: 15,364 310 (2.06%)
- Xbox 360: 3,379 804 (19.22%)
- Game Boy Micro: 805 102 (11.25%)
- GBA SP: 738 297 (28.70%)
- Gamecube: 303 20 (6.19%)
- DS Phat: 112 20 (15.15%)
- GBA: 25 34 (57.63%)

[Source: Media Create]

Nintendo, attempting to maintain their family-oriented image, has taken great caution to avoid standard voice chat in their online offerings...at least between people not firmly established as friends. Services such as Xbox Live might embrace the liberal cursing of prepubescent punks, but in a purely audio-based communciation system, it's almost impossible for a system to filter out profanity in real-time.

According to my mother's sister's friend's uncle an IGN Insider forum poster (who has some street cred, thanks to a previous accurate analysis of the internal Wiimote speaker) and a recent patent, Nintendo will be implementing a speech-to-text program to avoid such problems. In addition to standard word recognition, the program will also register the tone and volume of your voice to change the text into various sizes and colors. "STFU n00b" will be in red, presumably.

By converting audio data to simple text, the Wii will very easily be able to filter and/or change any words that are flagged in the system. Hopefully, the system will allow parents and users to modify the filters, and perhaps just give an optional regular voice-to-voice setting as well.

[via Joystiq]