Nintendo Wii Fanboy

How far would you go to obtain a Wii? Would you rob a bank? Freeze yourself? Kidnap yourself?

That's what one "Mr. Yang" of Shangqiu, China has attempted, after his parents refused to buy him a Wii. At least, we think it was a Wii -- the original China Daily article endearingly describes how the man was desperate for a "Nintendo computer."

Whatever Yang was after, he went to some lengths to achieve it, colluding with two other men who acted as his kidnappers and demanded a $1,400 ransom to bring the false abduction to an end. Police apparently caught the two "kidnappers" while they were withdrawing the sum from an ATM. Genius!

[Via Destructoid]

The latest in the short line of Wii knockoffs, this product is made by the China Shenzhen Firstsing Company Limited and might just be the best of the bunch of knockoffs already on the market. Featuring some stellar 16-bit graphics, it offers everything someone who's too cheap to buy the cheapest real console on the market could want.

[Via Engadget]

When the Vii was cracked open and shown for what it was, the joke system became that much more hilarious. But the thing did well enough to warrant a successor, apparently. As we first put eyes on this new and improved version of the original, we were thankful that thing at least looks less like an actual Wii now. Although, the remote has taken on almost the same exact button scheme as that of the Wiimote.

If it were us, we'd probably think of a much better way to disassemble this thing. Probably with a rock or by dropping it down a large flight of stairs. Sure, it's not the most practical way to see how many hamsters are running around on metal wheels inside the thing, powering its massive processor and other technical whatnot, but it would probably be the most satisfying. Then, we could sit our Wii next to its guts and take a picture, eventually photoshopping in a funny one-liner or something. Oh well ...

[Via Codename Revolution]

How hilarious is this Vii thing? We can't believe the unit is even being bought by some people, let alone making enough money to warrant advertising. But, sure enough, here we sit talking about a commercial for the thing. We're kind of tempted to track one down ourselves to see how bad the included games are, but we're worried about providing our credit card number to the company manufacturing these things. Thankfully, other people on the internet aren't as scared as we are.

[Via Kotaku]

Remember that ridiculous Wii knock-off from China? Well, up until now we've not seen the thing in action, quietly stowing away all kinds of nightmarish thoughts we cooked up of how the actual thing works into the most darkest recesses of our mind. Now, those nightmares come alive for all to see.

Past the break is a much longer video.

Our colleagues over at Engadget Chinese got some exclusive pictures of the Vii, the Chinese game console that bears an entirely coincidental resemblance in name and appearance to some Nintendo thing. Looking sort of like a Wii turned on its side and crammed awkwardly into a tiny stand, the Vii's appearance proves that there were no actual Wii consoles nearby when the engineers/buccaneers in charge were designing the system. Unlike the real Wii, however, the Vii comes in pink-- advantage: Vii.

But, as we have all been trained to tell Wii haters, appearances are nothing-- it's the games that count. And, as revealed by NeoGAFfer xfactor, the Vii has things that look like games, at least, all of which star a pair of unidentifiable white animals (goat-bunnies?). The Vii can, of course, play sports games like Alacrity Golf, Happy Tennis and Fantasy Baseball, and the cooking simulation Fry Egg. But it's also got the dancing game Fever Move, the Balloon Fight-esque Bird Knight, and even something ... seal-related called Come On.

The 2D graphics in these games show evidence of some small amount of work, which means that these games must be direct copies of some retail games. Or the real games don't look anything like the screenshots. We're guessing we'll never find out, since we don't know any knockoff retailers we can go to for one of these. GameStorp?

Check after the break to see the screens, and check out the Engadget Chinese post for more hardware pictures, including festive Viimotes.

Patents and trademarks -- who cares about 'em? Apparently not the people behind Vii, a Chinese Wii knock-off. The looks more like a papercraft Wii than the real thing (wait, that's an insult to brilliant papercraft perpetrators everywhere), but the controller is pretty similar. A French site spotted the Wii clone in a Chinese magazine and scanned the pages so that we could all shake our heads as one.

Want to see for yourself? Check out the spread past the post break. We wonder if the console features ViiConnect24 ....

Hey, a Japanese Virtual Console update we don't have to be jealous of! Usually, Japan gets all kinds of great stuff, and we get, at best, Japan's great stuff from a month ago. This week: nothing to fret about, really.

• Front Line (Famicom, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points)
• Adventures of Lolo (Famicom, 1 player, 500 Wii Points)
• Golden Axe II (Mega Drive, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points)
• The Kung Fu (PC Engine, 1 player, 600 Wii Points)

We like Golden Axe II, but we feel confident it'll be here soon. We already know we're getting The Kung Fu this month (as China Warrior). We've never played Front Line, but it looks very ... proto-NES. That leaves Lolo, which, as a HAL Laboratory title and an okay game, is no doubt the subject of a lot of frothing demand. It'll come out here eventually!

We need to write Virtually Overlooked columns about Turbografx-16 launch games more often, because we look really cool when those games show up on the Virtual Console. Last time it was Ninja Spirit; this Monday: J.J. & Jeff! We'll say it right now, before the actual Madness ensues: buy it if you like Adventure Island. We obviously love it. Sure, it's not the Japanese version, but it's functionally identical. We'd like to personally thank Hudson for pushing World Sports Competition back a month to give us J.J. & Jeff that much sooner.

And after capping off May with a great game that only we like, Hudson is giving us more weird, wonderful TG16 stuff in June. We might be the only people who like China Warrior, but we really like China Warrior. It's a Kung Fu clone starring a Bruce Lee clone, and it has giant sprites. Also flying tea. It's weirdly enjoyable, and one of the games we've been waiting for since we first heard about Turbografx-16 games on the Virtual Console. Also coming in June: Dead Moon, Bloody Wolf, and, of course, World Sports Competition.

But, as usual, Japan's getting the real treasure: Bonk 3, China Warrior, Neutopia 2, Silent Debuggers, and ... Devil's Crush. We wish we had the money to buy everyone a copy of Devil's Crush. Even if you don't think you'll like it, you need it.

Nintendo sent us out a press release today, commending the U.S. government for its strong stance against piracy in the Chinese market. Nintendo has said that they strongly support the U.S. Trade Representative who is currently seeking consultation with the Chinese government, who have lately been in breach of the World Trade Organization obligations pertaining to intellectual property protection and enforcement. China has been responsible for over 7.7 million counterfeit video game products over the last four years, as 300 factories and retailers have been seized by the local authorities during those years.

"Nintendo will continue to work with the U.S. government while aggressively pursuing counterfeit Nintendo products in China," comments Jodi Daugherty, Nintendo of America's senior director of anti-piracy. She goes on to say "We're pleased the U.S. government is pushing China to comply with its trade commitments in an effort to protect the lifeblood of the copyright and trademark industries." In 2006, estimated losses to Nintendo, as well as others in the gaming industry, reached the $762 million mark.

See also: The NCC allows the Wii in

And we're not being sarcastic at all.

Apparently, when the Wii was introduced into the market in Shanghai, it retailed for a price of 3,000 Yuan, which comes to about $388 USD (we could be wrong, apparently there are different types of Yuan over there). Shortly after that, the consoles started showing up with modchips built into them and Japanese consoles imported into the region dropped their price to 2,100 Yuan, which is about $271 USD. Even worse, pirated games could be found VERY cheap over there, only costing 10 Yuan, or little over $1 USD.

The price for a console over there has shot back up to 3,000 Yuan again, which is likely due to the demand for the system being skyrocketed by the cheap solutions the piracy scene offers over there. This, of course, will definitely attract Nintendo's attention, hopefully causing the company to take action. But really, what action can they take?

See also: Wii circuitry changed to thwart modchips?

Here's an interesting little factoid: the Wii is driving the Asian import/export market to record highs, and those are just the legal imports. No, we don't mean the act of one guy selling another guy a console, but rather the market surrounded the creation and transportation of our favorite new console. Nintendo had a big part in the record-setting month of November, when toy imports from China (where they build Wiis, as well as everything else ever) to Japan came in at a little over 200 million big ones (¥25.3billion). Apparently, the Wii was responsible for a good 40% of that amount -- nearly half! That's a huge effect, and according to Japanese newspaper Yomiuri Shinbun, "No other video game console has had such a big effect on imports."

Well, take that, analysts. You may continue to sing the imminent victory of the PS3, but the Wii drives global commerce. We hear it also serves as a volunteer firefighter on off days. Now if only you could find one ....