If you had a dragon, what would you do? The most amazing creature in existence in under your control, so you'll surely embark on epic adventures across the world, right? You wouldn't make it ... fly through rings, would you?
Apparently, that's the extent of Codemasters' creative efforts thus far on the upcoming Dragonology for the Wii. Based on the popular books chronicling and categorizing everything to do with the mystical world of dragons, Dragonology will let you create a character, hit the skies and undertake many ring-flying, egg-collecting and photo-taking adventures.
The above screen requests the player to fly through a set of rings "more challenging than the first," which implies more than one ring-flying course. Which is more than one too many. You can check out more screens from a promising IP here, but the end results is looking a bit flat already. It's just that .. ring games are usually lousy, sometimes average. Never superb.
This '8 in 1' set of Wiimote attachments from thebelovedDragonElectronics has so many weapons. There's an axe, a pistol, a scimitar, a sword, two daggers, and even a shield. Wait, that's seven things (and the shield isn't really a weapon, so it doesn't fit in our classification system.) Apparently, the gun comes in two pieces, each comprising one of the "8 in 1." They couldn't call it "7 in 1?" Dragon's ability to sell useless remote adornments is that contingent on there being eight of them in the package? We'd think the awesome rusty finish on the swords, shield, and axe would be enough of a draw.
In addition to the quote used in the title, the box declares its contents " Physical exercise ideal Wii accessories product and good for health," while assuring prospective buyers that there is "no hazaro." If it's both ideal and free from hazaro, we see no reason not to buy this!
We were going to make a joke about playing Golden Axe with the axe attachment, but we remembered that the Wiimote is terrible for the Genesis games with which it is functional, meaning that in all likelihood you'd have the axe sitting on your lap as you played. And that would be ridiculous.
[Update: corrected the bit about Wiimote incompatibility.] [Via Aeropause]
The next in a line ofworthless Wii peripherals is this Fishing Rod Advance from Dragon Electronics, to use for games such as Fishing Master and Rapala Tournament Fishing... oh, and we guess there's also that short fishing bit in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Yet, as our own JC Fletcher suggested, you'd probably just be better off using this to make your cat go insane. Sure, this will only set you back $9.95, but we bet you could probably spend those ten dollars better somewhere else.
We have to wonder -- do they keep making these ridiculous peripherals because people keep on buying them? Here's a chance to cleanse your soul and fess up, folks!
The Zapper is nothing more than a big handle for your Wiimote and Nunchuk. It's about as inert as a game accessory can get. There's no circuitry, no wiring, and no real technology of any kind. It's just a thing that you hold, that itself holds things.
Which means that, unlike more sensitive items like GameCube controllers or memory cards, there's no real harm in eschewing the Nintendo-branded shell for a different option. Would you even consider a third-partygunshell? Or is Nintendo loyalty and fear of product failure locking you into a first-party purchase? For the purpose of discussion, let's pretend that Link's Crossbow Training isn't a factor. We're actually considering a nonstandard Zapper ourselves, because we're nonplussed by Nintendo's design, and we think we'd enjoy the lulz provided by one of the more out-there gun shells. Not to mention the fact that some of them have features the Zapper lacks, like extra vibration (nice!), or ... a laser sight.
Third-party accessory manufacturers have been rushing out their Zapper-esque controller shells as fast as they can manage, hoping to cash in before Nintendo's official product dominates the market. This newest variation to the light gun lineup, Dragon's Sparkling Vibration Gun Controller, claims to add some extra kick to your shots with its "mega vibration."
Requiring only $9.95 and a pair of AAA batteries, it sounds like a good deal, but is anyone actually looking for more rumble with their Wii games? And what's with listing "Exciting" and "Fantastic" on the packaging's bulleted list of features? Those aren't features! Who are they to state whether the peripheral is exciting or fantastic? We'll be the judge of that!
Try not to drop your convulsing pistol during the gunfight, and take cover past the post break for more photos of the shell's "cyber-looking design" (another exaggeration).
Okay, we'll start with the good news: this projector, while compatible with everything with an A/V out, was designed with the Wii in mind. It even includes a Wii composite cable in the package. And it's white, which is the universal sign of "this thing is made for the iPod Wii"
The bad news (which sounds like good news at first): this projector is cheap. We appreciate it when things are inexpensive, but $170 is suspiciously cheap for a projector. Even one that doesn't display in HD. Of course, we aren't sure we'd trust sensitive equipment like this from the same company that brought us the dashboard sensor bar stand at any price.
According to the website, it displays in a resolution of 960*234, which is definitely a mistake of some kind. We hope it's a mistake in the product description and not in the product design. Check after the break for a screenshot from Ghost Squad, resized to 960*234. We didn't use a widescreen game for this exercise, but at a vertical resolution of 234 pixels, it wouldn't be much better.
We've had some laughs over Dragon Electronics' ill-conceived accessories in the past, but the Chinese manufacturer really seemed to hit all the right notes with its latest charging dock. Taking more into account than just bundling battery covers and rechargeable AAA batteries, the cradle has every feature we're looking for in a budget solution -- USB adapter, unobtrusive design, room to charge two controllers simultaneously, and LED status indicators.
Play-Asia has the charging station listed for $14.90 ($6.70 s/h), while eBay auctions have it priced a few dollars higher. To compare, Nyko's dock sells for about $30. Check past the post break for the full fact sheet.
Just when you think accessory manufacturers have hit rock bottom with the dozens of inaneproducts already on store shelves, they take a step to the side and reveal a previously hidden trapdoor that peers into an untapped abyss of bad ideas.
We laughed nervously when Dragon Electronics described its sensor bar stand as perfect for automobile use, letting it pass as an off-color joke, but the same company is now advertising a Wii Car Lighter Adapter. You know, so you can play Wii Sports while driving.
We're not going to stop you from "pimping your ride" or whatever it is that kids are doing nowadays to waste their parents' money; just don't be surprised when your mangled body is laid out on asphalt, covered in broken glass and blood, and we're sorting through the wreckage to grab whatever's left of your console.
So what's next on the suicidal accessory list? A mini-float to keep your Wii and its wires above water while you take a bath? Or a convenient, automatic device that twists the cord of your nunchuck into a noose, tightening its length around your neck as the tips of your toes struggle to grip the unsteady surface of a wobbly chair?
Look past the post break for the Car Lighter Adapter's fact sheet, but be careful not to let yourself slip.
You guys have sent us a lot of Miis, and some of them are pretty random. We mean seriously out there. And that's just fine with us -- we like random and weird! In fact, you could probably say that we appreciate the more creative, out-there Miis more than any other, so how could we not devote an entire week's Mii Spotlight to the weirdest of your submissions?
We just had to. Besides, we think you'll enjoy them as much as we did.
Posted May 21st 2007 6:35PM by JC Fletcher Filed under: News
Even though the series started in Japan back in 1989, and ended in 1996, the tie-in games just keep on coming for Dragon Ball Z.Atari has announced Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 for the Wii and PS2. Like the previous installment on Wii, this is part of the Dragon Ball Z Sparking series in Japan and is developed by Spike.
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 will include improved Wii controls and over 150 playable characters, which is a lot of big-haired dudesand blonde versions of those same big-haired dudes. The stages will include day/night versions, which opens up a transformation ability for many characters. There's a teaser animation on the Japanese website, but no screens or anything yet.
What did you all think of the last DBZ game on Wii? Are you enthused about another one? Has the series been run into the ground?
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Cobra Command, the once-feared terror outfit that brought nations to their knees, has all but abandoned its plans of total world domination, favoring the sales of cheap Wii accessories in their stead. Gone are the days of Weather Dominators, Synthoids, and dozens of other harebrained schemes plotted by incompetent-but-endlessly-entertaining villains. To take their place, we have an adjustable stand for your Wii sensor bar selling for only $9.99.
Distributed by dummy corporation Dragon, the Cobra Stand can twist and turn to position your sensor bar however you want. The suction cup on its base sticks to even the most slippery surfaces (or the most slithery! Har har har!). We've got some photo instructions on how to use this contraption, but that's not all! Our quest to point out bizarre packaging elements continues after the post break!
When anything at all happens related to a Dragon Questgame, we pay attention. Therefore, we felt that the newly-released Japanese boxart for Dragon Quest Swords was worth posting. Take an early look at something that's going to be in pretty much every Japanese home after July 12th!
The boxart looks pretty nice, actually. We appreciate it when publishers put actual hand-drawn art on the cover instead of action poses of the main character's 3D model. Especially when it's Akira Toriyama art, which we continue to like despite Dragon Ball Z.
Some gameplay details about Dragon Quest Swords have trickled out in the form of this Jump magazine scan and the accompanying NeoGAF thread. It seems that you'll be able to upgrade your sword during your adventure, which in itself is not a surprise, given the title of the game (it's not Dragon Quest Sword, after all).
The swords themselves are cool enough to be noteworthy, as is the method of upgrading. You collect elements on your journey (the fire/ice sense of "elements" more than the molybdenum sense) and take those to a blacksmith to have swords forged. Those swords, then, naturally, have elemental attacks. Also, you gain the ability to have a freaking cool-looking sword. We've posted the scan after the break.
Over at Square-Enix's Japanese site, we find the main page for Dragon Quest: Swords. And by going through that, one may stumble upon a newly-released trailer for the game. In the trailer, we receive a short intro speech followed by some artwork of the game's characters being shown and, well ... we don't want to ruin the whole thing for you, so we suggest you go check it out.
Listen to me. I've been sent from the future, sent to warn you about the impending destruction of the human race. There were so many, we just couldn't ... we were overwhelmed within weeks. Humans now live in scattered clusters, fearful of the raids, desperately clinging to life. We need to stop it. They're gaining power.
Surely, you've seen the signs. They're infecting homes, complacent, waiting for their chance to strike. Soon, their numbers will be unstoppable, and you're allowing, nay, helping their cause. Every week they grow stronger! They added what will be their strongest general, Dragon Quest, to their arsenal quite recently. Yes, surely you see it now: within two months, the DS Lites will become sentient. They'll launch a attack on the Pentagon and all major military bases in the continental United States, removing our defensive capabilities. From then on, it'll be inevitable ... Judgement Day.
From their seat of power in Akihabara, Japan (the new capital of Nitro, their self-proclaimed worldwide empire), they will launch wave after wave of attack on the remaining humans. We're led by the one man who might rally us from defeat ... Reggie, of course. He sent me here, to prevent it, but now I see that it's already too late. February 13th is the day, gentlemen. May Iwata have mercy on your pathetic souls.
The 
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