Nintendo Wii Fanboy

This week sees the commencement of E3, the Super Bowl for gamers. On Tuesday, Nintendo will announce all of its big plans for the rest of the year, sending fanboys and fangirls alike into a frenzy. And while others choose to give us predictions of what we will see, here is the much more important information: things that we won't be seeing.

5. The Game Boy Ultra - Around the time that the DS was first announced, Nintendo made a point to clarify that the new dual-screened portable was more of a "third pillar" than the next installment in the Game Boy line. But then the DS started printing money ... lots and lots of it. Regardless, in an effort to stay true to their word (as they always do), Nintendo will unveil the Game Boy Ultra. The sleek handheld will feature a small but crisp widescreen display showcasing wonderful GameCube-esque graphics. In fact, it will be backwards-compatible with all GameCube games, using the same 8cm discs as Nintendo's last-gen console. Also, similar to the PSP's remote play, the Game Boy Ultra will connect to the Wii and allow data transfers to an SD card. This will allow Virtual Console and select WiiWare games to be played on the go. And since Nintendo plans to keep DS owners in agony by not announcing New Super Mario Bros. 2, they will reveal that the Game Boy Ultra will ship packaged with a free copy of Super Mario Bros. Ultra.

Survey Says: Not necessary; Contra 4 removes the need for any other portable game or system.

Virtually Overlooked has taken over Wii Fanboy! All this week, members of the staff will be outlining their personal picks for future Virtual Console releases.

It was 1994 when Ahmad poignantly rapped, "Back in the days, when I was young; I'm not a kid anymore, but some days, I sit and wish I was a kid again." If scientists could only harness the wasted enthusiasm of our nostalgia, our cities would never want for electricity.

Remember the peanut butter and jelly sandwich lunches? Or the summer swims with the sun on your back, tanning your skin golden brown? The days you could set your heart on a girl you hardly knew at any moment, whether it be a winsome classmate or the clear-skinned brunette from Noxzema's hokey commercials? The nights when TGIF meant new episodes of Full House and Family Matters, and not after-work casual dining?

Each weekly batch of Virtual Console releases is a reminder of my idle youth. Some games I recognize only from magazine previews I read with eager eyes over a decade ago, and others are familiar friends -- titles I've been meaning to catch up with to recount years past. The whole gang hasn't quite made it to the reunion yet, but that doesn't mean we can't trade old stories about them in the meantime. "Sometimes, I still sit and reminisce ..."