Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Every Tuesday, Mike Sylvester brings you REVOLUTIONARY, a look at the wide world of Wii possibilities.

Metroid Prime 3 has proven indeed that a Wii Remote and Nunchuk is the next best thing to a keyboard and mouse for first person shooting and action. Although we have few FPS titles being developed and released on the Wii (relative to party games and family-friendly content, or the main attraction of a certain other platform), the genre is among the most popular in the scripting community. This is naturally so with FPS being a favored genre among hardcore PC gamers and hardware enthusiasts.

With the recent release of the demo version of Call of Duty 4 and its imminent final release, I felt it was time to pick up arms and serve you a script for this spectacular shooter.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Cobra Command, the once-feared terror outfit that brought nations to their knees, has all but abandoned its plans of total world domination, favoring the sales of cheap Wii accessories in their stead. Gone are the days of Weather Dominators, Synthoids, and dozens of other harebrained schemes plotted by incompetent-but-endlessly-entertaining villains. To take their place, we have an adjustable stand for your Wii sensor bar selling for only $9.99.

Distributed by dummy corporation Dragon, the Cobra Stand can twist and turn to position your sensor bar however you want. The suction cup on its base sticks to even the most slippery surfaces (or the most slithery! Har har har!). We've got some photo instructions on how to use this contraption, but that's not all! Our quest to point out bizarre packaging elements continues after the post break!

What's even easier than making your own wireless sensor bar? Ordering one. After all, even slinging some candles around takes more effort than a quick flex of your credit card.

We know there's a demand for all things wireless, but will this work well enough to justify a purchase? Unfortunately, we can't give you an answer on that, nor even provide details on the manufacturers, as details are vague even on the Wireless Sensor Bar site, though we've seen a little self-promotion from these people, whoever they are (check the comments).

[Via WiiNintendo.net]

Reader DoctaBu is fed up with the limitations of cords in what should be a wireless age, and he's taken matters into his own hands with this homemade improvement on the tied-down Wii sensor bar. He has no illusions about form over function for this project, either, because it's all about getting the job done. "Yes, it's ugly. Yes, it's ghetto. But, it is a wireless, battery-powered Wii Sensor Bar. And it works." Preach it, brother. He even made a video of the process for the curious, which we've included after the jump.

We expect that by next week, someone will have springboarded off this idea and we'll be bringing you the Porsche edition of wireless sensor bars, complete with shimmering white finish, Jacuzzi and half-naked girls. Go to, DIYers!

As plays on the name go, "Wii-cessory" is probably not going to catch on, but y'know ... we're okay with that. It's so hard to come up with new witticisms when we're gazing upon the smooth, silky cables, so dark and lustrous. We can imagine how they'll slide through our fingers as we lovingly unwind them from their cruel and twisty knot of torture. The flat expanse of the sensor bar, just waiting, waiting for its place of honor atop our televisions. Ah, the pristine white shimmer of the nunchuk, so fresh and unspoiled by our grubby jam-hands. Oh, Wii. Why must we wait so long to be with you?

[Thanks to creamsugar for the tip. The original site seems to be experiencing intermittent downtime, so we're linking to Go Nintendo's pictures. Look out for some severe watermarking, however.]

The men over at IGN are cunning, merciless creatures who slip through the night, leaving naught but death in their wake. Through much bloodshed and carnage, they managed to procure a most valuable document: the official Wii controller documentation, giving specifics on just about every nuance of the device. While you, the magnificent reader, may peruse their ninja-like writing via following hyperlink, here are some of the highlights:

• The Wii controller will run on two regular AA batteries. According to the notes, these will allow for 60 hours of battery life if only the accelerometers are used, and 30 hours if the full functionality (the sensing of the controller's relative position in space) is being is utilized.
• In addition to showing what controller corresponds to what player on-screen, the four LEDs will also give an indication of remaining battery life once the controller is turned on.
• The previous mentioned "sync" button on the console will correlate a Wii with the controllers being used. One can either accomplish this with a button inside the battery cover, or by pressing both the "1" and "2" buttons at the same time.
• The sensor bar must be placed either below or above the television set, and is about 20 centimeters in length.
• The controller contains 6 KB of non-volatile (read: flash) memory, presumably to be used for the internal speaker. However, this memory might also be used to save various personal controller configurations or data.

Some other tidbits about communication bandwidth frequency, interference from outside sources, rumble functionality, and a mysterious "eye" (camera?) are also mentioned. Check out the link for the goods, but proceed with caution. Assassins lurk in the shadows.

[Thanks to all who sent this in!]