Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Ripped from the headlines: Using WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008's create-a-wrestler mode, THQ has done their own take on the Democratic presidential rivalry. They designed characters who sorta resemble presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton, as long as you're told who they're supposed to be first.

The two politicians run out and play to the crowd, then face off, totally about to wrassle, when the clip unfortunately ends. We wanted to see what Senator Clinton's finishing move was! We wanted to learn the candidates' positions on the issue of "folding chairs: now or later?"

You know, we wouldn't mind fake physical combat as a campaign method. It's not like anyone talks about real policy at debates anyway.

Not many of you seemed too excited when WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 came out, but then again, that was the same week as Super Mario Galaxy's North American release. Also, at that time, the game would have cost you a cool $50 to buy.

Now, though, thanks to Amazon and its video game "Deal of the Day" promotion, you can get the game for half the price (or, for those of you that are terrible at math, $25). As per usual, this sale will end at 3 A.M. EDT, so if you want this title you better be ready to succumb to your inner impulse buyer.

Also, if you like to wrassle but aren't too keen on doing so on your Wii, today's DotD extends to every other console under the sun.

We recognize that this SmackDown vs. Raw 2008 commercial does a great job of selling the game to its core demographic, but, to us, it's a sad reminder of what the World Wrestling Federation has become.

Remember how the Bushwackers used to stomp around their downed adversaries? Remember when you thought the Undertaker was for real and that someone was surely going to die by the match's end? Remember Hulk Hogan running up to the ring with an American Flag in tow, ripping apart his sleeveless yellow shirt to reveal his oiled chest to a throng of frenzied, heterosexual men, everyone chanting, "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Gone are those glory days -- the greatest days, some would call them. THQ's commercial is representative of what the WWE has celebrated in their stead: gratuitous displays of flesh, jackasses walking around with open shirts like that's the proper order of business, and crotch-chop gestures accompanied by some scoundrel telling you to "suck it." If you're exhausted with our nostalgia-tinged rant and would rather watch an extended, minute-long version of the ad, bring your best moves past the post break.

If you had a N64 and friends, then you probably played a couple of different games on the regular. Some game starring a "Bond. Mr. James Bond" or something, called Goldeneye 007, seemed to be the crowd favorite. Another game some would say was quite popular was Mario Kart 64, a game that involved kart racing and some guy with a mustache. Last, but not least (for us, anyway), was a series of wrestling games based on both the WCW and WWF (a magical time when one guy didn't totally destroy what used to be a kind of fun program to watch).

Now, the last amazing wrestling game that the N64 would ever see (and most would agree, gaming as a whole) might be making its way onto the Virtual Console. But, it won't be the same game you remember, because word on the street is that it's to be updated with the current roster of WWE superstars. While we could care less about the new crop of wrestlers, we could easily create all of our old favorites using the awesome character creation mode.

Who else is with us in wanting this game?

[Via Game | Life]

The No More Heroes site continues to leak bits and pieces of information -- just enough to keep us drooling -- and this latest update covers some of the ground already tread by this morning's video. Our hero Travis and his beam katana are the center of the new information, which is all about combat and the tools of the assassination trade. The beam katana can be used to deflect bullets (where've we seen that before?), but it's not a never-ending source of bloody awesome; like any gadget, it can run out of juice. Luckily, there are battery packs scattered around, but in the event you can't find one and find yourself in need of a good cutting edge, you can always get your waggle-charge on. Charging the katana is as simple as jerking the Wiimote up and down.

The updates also show off something we've already seen -- Travis's penchant for wrestling moves -- and a shot of a fight brought to a grappling standstill. The image isn't terribly clear, but it seems that with a turn of the Wii remote, it's possible to break free and beat your opponent down.

We couldn't possibly want this game more, but at this point, all we really want is to find out just what's up with the tiger indicator on the upper part of the screen. In videos, it can be seen wiggling around, and in these screens, it looks like he takes a little tiger-journey across the top of the image, but for what reason? We can wait for the game, but we must know the secret of the tiger! Perhaps he's like a pet, feeding on the blood of your enemies. It's either that, or he's linked to all the tiger rugs we keep seeing in the game.

Remember way back during the days of the N64 when wrestling games were pretty much the most fun thing to play? You would talk so much trash to your friends, about how you could totally own them with Eric Bischoff and his, like, 5 different moves? Tossing your opponent outside the ring, only to rain down on them with chair strikes over and over and over ...

Well, those were the days and, based on the embedded video past the post break, they could very well be returning. The video gives us a gameplay demonstration on how the Wiimote and nunchuk will work together and allow you to destroy your opponents in the ring.

[via Gaming Age]

We played the "What if?" game with our friends a lot during our younger years. Our school playground was a montessori arena for cartwheels and slow motion kicks as we acted out, "What if we were Power Rangers?" Tired from our recess shenanigans, we would brood over notes we passed in class, wondering, "What if it rained candy? Seriously, wouldn't that be rad?" We eventually put the childish pastime behind us, realizing that it wasn't appropriate to ask our best friends, "What if I was a guy who wanted to date your sister?"

Buzz Beamer from Sports Illustrated Kids hasn't given up on the "What if?" game yet. In the magazine's latest comic, Buzz ruminates over the possibilities of an over-sized Wii remote. He comes up with some entertaining ideas like Virtual Log Riding and Tossing the Caber. Our favorite is the one where he has a "realistic" wrestling match with the giant remote. That's way cooler than the Hulk Hogan pillow we used to grapple with when we were kids!

Yes, the U.S. Virtual Console launch line-up is a bit ... anemic. We know, it hurts. However, one has to consider why it doesn't really matter: 1) We'll all be too busy playing Twilight Princess to bother with the Virtual Console immediately, and 2) Nintendo has promised ten new Virtual Console releases per month. That's quite a bit, especially looking at how often Xbox Live Arcade is updated, but the question then becomes: what's on the horizon?

Well, thanks to the ESRB, we've got a clue. The ESRB requires that games be rated before release, which obviously means that companies need to send in their product quite a bit in advance. Since they publish their ratings, we've managed to score a list of eight potentials, and quite an eight they are (all rated E for Everyone):

• Duck Hunt
  
• Hogan's Alley
  
• Kid Icarus
  
• Kirby's Adventure
  
• PilotWings
  
• Pro Wrestling
  
• Punch-Out
  
• Wild Gunman

Kid Icarus, Duck Hunt, and Punch-Out? Holy hell. The Virtual Console is awesome.

[via Joystiq]

[Thanks, Zeke!]

[Update 1: Legal issues?]