Nintendo Wii Fanboy

As soon as Nintendo released its anti-Twilight Hack patch in an attempt to stifle the Wii's homebrew scene, programmers set to work on finding vulnerabilities with the new firmware. They understood that there was more at stake than just homemade applications and games -- the very future of Wii teledildonics was at risk.

Fortunately, an update re-enabling the Twilight Hack was put out just in time for Team DWiildo's WiiBrator release. We're sure you can figure out how it works. Of course, PC applications interfacing with the Wii remote have provided similar functions in the past, but this "advanced vibrator simulator" is actually run through Nintendo's console.

We, uh, haven't tried out the technology demo ourselves, but it sounds like an excellent alternative to spending $50+ at the local Hustler shop for a buzzing piece of cheap, fluorescent-colored plastic. Team Dwiildo also has intriguing ideas for upcoming versions, including an image slideshow and online support for up to 32 players. Ambitious!

If you decide to try out the WiiBrator program, Team Dwiildo suggests that you use the remote jacket for enhanced comfort. Also, they very much advise against using the application with either the Wii Zapper or Wii Wheel peripherals attached.

See also: ShiatsuCube: Homebrew happy endings

[Via DCEmu]

Every Tuesday, Mike Sylvester brings you REVOLUTIONARY, a look at the wide world of Wii possibilities.

Thought of by many as the "Disney of video gaming," Nintendo has crafted themselves an image of family-friendly entertainment. But to certain generations and classes of gamers, the term "family-friendly" is synonymous with "kiddy," and immediately sparks disinterest. But ever since publishing Rare's Killer Instinct, they've been working on broadening the public's perspective. Trying to appeal to the bloodlust of the Mortal Kombat crowd didn't give them any headway, and as generations progressed and they've garnered more "mature-themed" titles, they still haven't been able to shake the "kiddy console" stigma.

Even after snagging the exclusivity to the Resident Evil series for a generation, Nintendo was largely overlooked by the Playstation-bred gamers that were brought up on the series. How much more will it take for Wii to be regarded as a platform that can satisfy the tastes of mature gamers?

We know, you were disappointed. Last night, as you happily refreshed Wii Fanboy every nine seconds or so looking for this week's Japanese hardware sales, the vim slowly faded from your eyes as the hours ticked into oblivion. We would never willingly deprive our readers so; we were unavoidably delayed! You see ....

Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him ... there were the moon men, reigning over the Earth. But this was not the Earth you knew! It was covered in jelly and high-density motor oil, making the planet very slippery. The moon men blamed the corporations, and there was a war and many were killed. The battle raged for millennia until 8000 A.D., when the moon men realized they were not actually from the moon, but from rural Pennsylvania. They then built a monument to the moon but then the Quakers stole it and filled it with oatmeal, and no one knew what flavor. Californians were highly displeased and turned all the Quakers invisible, which is why you never see them anymore. And that ... is where babies come from.

- DS Lite: 123,140 4,321 (3.39%)
- Wii: 69,748 11,104 (18.93%)
- PSP: 26,358 261 (1.00%)
- PS2: 11,814 503 (4.45%)
- PS3: 8,998 629 (6.53%)
- Xbox 360: 2,219 175 (8.56%)
- Game Boy Micro: 310 97 (23.83%)
- GBA SP: 247 41 (14.24%)
- Gamecube: 226 30 (11.72%)
- DS Phat: 71 10 (12.35%)
- GBA: 16 1 (5.88%)

[Source: Media Create]