Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Birdo was famously characterized as a cross-dresser in the manual for Super Mario Bros. 2, but seems to have been made female in her appearances in the Mario sports games. According to Chris Kohler, who is currently playing through the Japanese version of Captain Rainbow, the character's gender dysphoria is back, and being discussed in-game for the first time.

It turns out that Birdo has been in jail on Mimin Island for using a women's restroom. She asks Captain Rainbow to find proof that she's a female so she can get out of jail, and he does -- buzzing, under her pillow. When he picks it up, it is censored.

Maybe Nintendo will rewrite this bit so it's about sandwiches. Then it could be released outside Japan.

The weirdest thing about Birdo's gender is that the thing seems to be gender-free except for the bow. So, then, does it mentally identify as a man identifying as a woman? And let's ignore the egg-laying issue entirely.

We're not referring to hamburgers, although they were no doubt involved with the transformation of Punch-Out!!'s diminutive protagonist from lithe, tiny athlete to pseudo-Cartman. Captain Rainbow is very quickly revealing itself as more than a top-down, adventure-based take on the same Japanese superhero tropes explored in Viewtiful Joe: it's a haven for lost Nintendo characters.

The first video introduces Little Mac and his unfortunate weight gain. Little Mac then tells the story of Birdo, who seeks popularity with the boys (Yes, Birdo, or as she used to be known, Catherine, is female. Yes, we read the Super Mario Bros. 2 manual.) In the second, Nick (who becomes Captain Rainbow) trains Mac back to prime littleness, with narration from Nazo no Murasame-jou's Takamaru (who will probably be the subject of the next video).

We didn't embed the videos because it's in your best interest to go see them on YouTube, where the clever uploader, 23Makoto23, has used YouTube comments to create subtitles (here is the original Captain Rainbow video subtitled).

Riiiight. If you ever wanted to play a game as a nerdy dweeb who runs happily along beaches and fields, occasionally transforming into a Captain America lookalike named Captain Rainbow, all while receiving running commentary from Birdo -- then this is the game for you. Just, watch.

According to some of the GAF regulars, the main character (ie. nerd version of the Captain) is named Nick, he's an American hero, and the game is scheduled for a Japanese release in summer 2008. More details can also be found at Hatena, where we learn the game is a registered trademark of Nintendo, and it's an "orgy of high tension." One word for that -- LOL.

[Via NeoGAF]

As if Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games wasn't already home to enough abysmal characters, a group of hackers have discovered a way to unlock numerous other unused playable characters in the title, including Silver the Hedgehog, Jet the -- ugh -- Hawk, and Donkey Kong (who would have been a welcome addition, actually). Birdo is also available, though comes with some sort of hideous facial deformity, as though the model never had its nose finished. It looks kind of wrong, truth be told. Not as wrong as this, mind.

There are plenty of other background characters that can be played with (some of which are fairly obscure), though only in certain events (such as trampolining). These include Shy Guy, Toad, the gut-churning Charmy, Espio, Cream, Boo, Bullet Bill (!), Goomba (!!), "Heroes Enemy 1," "Heroes Enemy 2," "SA1 Monkey," and -- nooo! -- Big the Cat. Sprint through the tape and into our gallery for a couple more screens.

We had cosplaying on the brain recently, and we figured we'd divert from the usual gaming-oriented morning topic to ask if you're a fan of the practice or one that participates in it? Enjoy it? Have any pictures (unless you're this person, in which case we ask you keep them to yourself) you want to share? Tried it once and didn't care for it? Of the mind these people are loons? Tell us what you think!

We imagine the above individual's diary entry for today would look something like this:

Dear diary,

Well, I finally decided to take my love of Birdo to the next level. Today, I finished creating my life's greatest achievement. I've attached a picture sample of the Birdo costume I created. You, like, totally know I'm all about Birdo. How many of your page's margins are full of hearts and little Birdo faces? Too many to count!

I figured with the costume, I could find my soulmate. So I created a myspace account (Birdo-missive57821) to find the perfect mate. They have to be tall, love Super Mario Bros. 2 (especially Birdo, lol) and enjoy listening to Marilyn Manson while pouring hot wax all over themselves. I think this costume I made will really help me find the right person to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who will respect me for the unique and talented person I am.

Anywho, I have to go, Courtney is coming over so we can both listen to some Savage Garden and give each other hickeys with the vacuum cleaner. You know, to impress the boys in gym class.

xoxoxoxoxo
Taylor