Nintendo Wii Fanboy

It's shocking how accurate EA's Celebrity Sports Showdown seems to be as a simulator of the life of a famous person. Well, not in some ways -- most celebrities aren't taking part in jet-fighter-based activities, these days, mostly because of rising fuel costs. And, of course, most celebrities, while shorter than they look onscreen, are a bit more like normal people in proportion than the chibi characters who look suspiciously like the EA Playground kids.

Most of the celebrity lifestyle seems to be based around accepting money to be seen in public at events they don't really care about, thrown by large companies much like Electronic Arts, and keeping the same vacant smile throughout. So glamorous.

When we took on this job, we never quite expected to be commenting on a picture of country music star Keith Urban skiing, but we'll do our best. So that's Keith Urban skiing, and this is Celebrity Sports Showdown, the latest Wii project in EA Sports' "Freestyle" sub-brand. If your breakfast just reappeared in your mouth, know this: you're not alone.

The aim of this minigame smorgasbord is thus: take control of one of fifteen big-headed "celebrities," and pit them against one another in events including (amongst others) Wild Water Canoeing, Smash Badminton, Arena Dodgeball, Slalom Showdown, Hurdle Derby, and Curling. The celebrities come from the sphere of music and sport, and include leathery-skinned lump-wiggler Fergie, Reggie Bush, Avril Lavigne, Sugar Ray Leonard, and others not sufficiently famous enough to make this sentence.

There's a full list past the break, though most are fairly C-list to a UK resident such as yours truly -- will there be a localized version with Keith Chegwin? Fingers and toes crossed! Or not.