Nintendo Wii Fanboy

WordJong on the DS is unique among the system's puzzle games: a Scrabble-type game in which you build words onto existing stacks of letters in order to clear stages. It's even got an online mode and Achievement-like trophies. There aren't enough language-based puzzle games, and even fewer good ones.

That's why we're thrilled to see a new game listed on GameStop.com called WordJong Party. According to the listing, it'll be out October 21 for $40. If, uh, it's real, a multiplayer, scaled-up WordJong is definitely something to be excited about. Although, of course, it'll have to be particularly feature-rich to avoid the calls of "should be WiiWare" that haunt all 2D, puzzle, or shooting games.

Ubisoft has continued on its quest to make us sneer at almost everything it attempts by announcing "Play Zone," a new Wii-exclusive division focused on "party games." Hey, we hear it's what's hot nowadays! Ubisoft's first contribution to this festival of mediocrity is Sports Party or, as North American readers will know it, Digital Embryo's Summer Sports: Paradise Island, which Ubisoft has snapped up the European publishing rights to.

Says Ubisoft marketing director John Parkes: "With our new Play Zone party titles, the Wii gamers who like to spend time with friends and family will have fun with the Wii through innovative and involving mini-games." Join us in the gallery and we'll all hold each other and cry.


[Via press release]

Destineer's Summer Sports: Paradise Island follows the same idea as Wii Sports: an assortment of casual sporting events to be played in multiplayer, with simple, representative motion-based controls. While it's obvious that this is where the money is on the Wii (to the point that even Game Party is a hit), Destineer smartly chose not to imitate Wii Sports outright.

Summer Sports seems to be an attempt not just to cash in on the Wii Sports phenomenon, but to serve as a companion to Nintendo's remarkably popular Wii pack-in. To that end, it features eight games that Wii Sports does not, and a surprisingly effective island theme.

Some of the minigames are total clunkers that make a compelling argument against motion controls, but some manage to deliver on the promise of Wii minigame collections: simple-to-understand controls in unique, fun games.

Destineer's bold new ad campaign says what we're all afraid to: playing croquet in the snow is pretty terrible. The latest trailers for Summer Sports: Paradise Island use a bleak, desolate winter environment (sorry if you live wherever that was filmed!) to draw a contrast between the real world, where it is sometimes cold, and the game world, where it's always a lovely time to play some badminton.

We must admit, we're a lot more enthused about fake croquet after seeing it next to real snow croquet. Two more trailers follow after the break! Let them out into the light (by watching them!)

Badminton: it's like tennis, except the racquet is smaller and the ball doesn't work. What is the deal with badminton? Who decided that a racquetball would be better with a tail?

Horseshoes is an equally bizarre game. At some point in history, someone saw a pile of metal things made to nailed to horses' hooves and thought "Hey, I bet it would be fun to throw those at a pole!" Now, specialized horseshoes are made specifically for being thrown at a pole.

Summer Sports includes both of these freaky pastimes. A video of the horseshoes game in action follows.

We were willing to support Manhunt 2, because Rockstar Games used graphic violence as a storytelling tool. Even if it didn't turn out for the best, Manhunt 2 was artistic expression. But Summer Sports: Paradise Island is just unconscionable. Children are going to play this, and they're going to get the message from this game that it is okay to play lawn darts -- one of the deadliest activities thought up by our demented, amoral culture.

Companies like Destineer need to take some responsibility when this generation's children grow up to be remorseless lawn dart players. Talk to your children about lawn darts -- before it's too late.

Destineer has officially announced the Iron Chef game that showed up on Gamestop.com a while back. Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine will be released this summer for Wii and DS, and puts players through "a series fast-paced and intense culinary challenges." Host Mark Dacascos has (obviously) signed on to provide his voice and likeness to the show, and the press release indicates that more of the show's talent will also appear. We're hoping we'll get to virtually humiliate Bobby Flay.

We expect the game to be a more pompous version of Cooking Mama with disgusting ingredients -- which sounds like a good time. Destineer CEO Paul Rinde said that "the ultimate 'secret ingredient' to these games will be family fun." "Family fun," huh? Is that some kind of sea creature?

[Via Joystiq]

Simulation racing games have never been a major interest of mine. They focus on realistically modeling car movement and performance, with the goal of encapsulating the true experience of doing something that most people cannot do: driving expensive, powerful cars very fast. Often efforts are made to model real locations as well to enhance the veracity of the experience. Simulation racing games provide a form of wish fulfillment that serves an interest shared by a lot of people. But I'm a lot more likely to wish for not having to drive than for more advanced forms of car driving.

Arcade racing, I have no problem with -- the high-speed, powersliding gameplay has less to do with accurate models of car physics and more to do with game-specific mechanics. The car is governed by what's fun instead of what's real. I generally prefer activities that are more game-like than simulation-like. That's why I don't mind not having to simulate putting bowling shoes on in Wii Sports.

Destineer's Indianapolis 500 Legends seems to have been intended as a simulation of classic Indy 500 races. But the racing feels more arcade-like. The game ends up straddling the two styles, and fails to succeed in either category. Bottom line (except not really, because there's a lot of review after this): this game is really only suitable for people with an abiding interest in driving in a circle, and an iffy proposition for that crowd.

Wii owners certainly can't complain about the number of third-party games available for the console. As MTV's Stephen Totilo puts it, where there was once a game drought for Nintendo systems (specifically in the N64 and GameCube eras), there's now a flood.

What Wii owners can complain about, however, is that a lot of these Wii games are nothing but shovelware. But, how do these games end up on the popular console? And, is it even ultimately a bad thing that they do?

A product listing for an Iron Chef game on Wii and DS showed up on GameStop (the listing has since vanished), and Siliconera's Spencer Yip indicated that he is aware of such a game in development at Destineer. Destineer has yet to make any announcements regarding the game, so this remains unconfirmed.

If true, this couldn't be more perfect fit for Nintendo systems, as an overblown, hyperactive counterpart to the mellow Cooking Mama, currently the champion of Nintendo cooking games. Iron Chef is already structured similarly to a fighting game, as well!

Unfortunately, Spencer says that the game will be based on the Iron Chef America show and not the superior original. No matter how many times the show is remade, Chairman Kaga Takeshi (pictured) taking a hearty bite out of a pepper will always be the iconic image of Iron Chef. Maybe we'll be able to unlock the original cast, so that we can lose to the King of Iron Chef, Iron Chef French Hiroyuki Sakai.

It seems likely that the voice of Iron Chef America, Chairman Mark Dacascos, will appear in the game (if the game is real), as he has a history with the medium. In addition to starring in the Double Dragon movie, Dacascos recently voiced a character in John Woo's Stranglehold.