Nintendo Wii Fanboy

When eBay seller k_lid found his fifteen-year-old son Isaac smoking marijuana on the patio with two of his "delinquent friends," he did what any respectable parent would do: he calmly removed his son's copy of Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock from beneath the Christmas tree, and put it up for sale on eBay, complete with a lengthy description about why it was being auctioned.

With the listing underway, all that was left to do was show the auction page to Isaac, who apparently "was not amused" by the sight of his number one Christmas present going on sale. Funny, that.

But kudos to k_lid, we say. That's a pretty calculating, imaginative punishment, and there's nothing wrong with a bit of tough love. Didn't do us any harm. Apart from the panic attacks. And the nightmares. And the endless twitching.

[Thanks, Chris!]

I see you're back, kid. No surprise there. You've hit the rarest of the rare candies, and Level 100 wasn't enough for you? You're flying high for awhile, but then even that's not enough. Believe me, I know.

So let me tell you what's I've got here, kid. I call it shine. I have to grow 8,192 plants just to make one of these little pills, but kid, you've never seen a Psywave like this. It makes you stronger, faster, hell, even your skin changes color. It's luxury, it's lightning ....

So, you wanna score some--whoa, whoa, not so fast, kid! Last time was a freebie, a little icing before the cake. I'm gonna need something more than just sales charts. I'm gonna need some sort of tripped-up magical cartoon dream sequence ... no, make that two tripped up cartoon dream sequences. Oh, baby, yes. I am rollin'.

Don't forget those charts, too, kid, and remember ... you'll be back ...

- DS Lite: 285,123 29,152 (11.39%)
- Wii: 101,320 1,202 (1.17%)
- PSP: 35,172 1,312 (3.87%)
- PS2: 14,815 2,231 (17.73%)
- PS3: 12,974 183 (1.43%)
- Xbox 360: 3,205 43 (1.36%)
- Gamecube: 394 227 (135.93%)
- Game Boy Micro: 340 290 (46.03%)
- GBA SP: 302 193 (38.99%)
- DS Phat: 69 23 (25.00%)
- GBA: 11 11 (Trippin%)

[Source: Media Create]

(... it's signed by Fatal1ty ...)