Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Don't get us wrong, we used to like Dragonball Z. When we were, like, twelve. But with the announcement of yet another DBZ game coming to the Wii, we can't help but think of all the other deserving anime franchises that could use the gaming treatment. The import Naruto titles on the 'Cube were spectacular, and we hear that the Bleach and Full Metal Alchemist titles aren't half bad.

You guys probably watch more anime than us, so which series, no matter how obscure, would you have make its way to the Wii? How about Read or Die, which could make very interesting use of the Wiimote for the various paper-based powers, or maybe Hikaru no Go, as a cool boardgame/RPG tandem title? Come forth, otaku, we summon thee!

We might sound sarcastic, but we're happy to see different kinds of games come to the Wii. This latest title from Sega Sammy is a collection of pachinko and pachislot (pachinko plus slot machine) simulations, called (deep breath!) Jissen Pachinko/Pachislot Hisshouhou! Sammy's Collection Hokuto no Ken Wii (Fighting Pachinko/Pachislot Victory Way! Sammy's Collection Fist of the North Star Wii).

It's based on the same popular Sega Sammy pachinko games that have been released on the DS, PS2, and PSP, and contains a bundle of pachinko and pachislot boards. And, of course, it carries the license of the classic, brutal Fist of the North Star manga and anime series.

This one is interesting for the same reason a lot of Wii games are: Wiimote controls. Apparently, you can use the Wiimote steering-wheel style to control the speed of the dropping balls. We admire the novel Wiimote use! It also has online ranking, in case competition motivates your pachinko-playing.

Jissen Pachinko/Pachislot Hisshouhou! Sammy's Collection Hokuto no Ken Wii (Fighting Pachinko/Pachislot Victory Way! Sammy's Collection Fist of the North Star Wii) comes out on May 24th in Japan, and probably never anywhere else. Any pachinko fans here? Do any of you import these kinds of things?

First, it was to be the pinnacle of all Gamecube games. Then, it would be released on both the GC and the Wii simultaneously. Then Nintendo went ahead and added a new control scheme to the Wii version. Then they had the gall to release the Gamecube version almost a month after the Wii version. Finally, in this final heinous act of treason, Nintendo of Japan has announced that the Gamecube version of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess will be sold exclusively from their online store, for around $57 USD.

We're all for the Wii version, folks, but this is a little ridiculous. Gamecube owners are getting the short end the stick in an attempt to push the Wii hardware as far as humanly possible. We do not approve, Nintendo. It should be noted that no specific announcements have been made for the US release plans of Twilight Princess, but a similar treatment would hardly be surprising.

It looks like all of you who hate the name Wii are getting your wish. Nintendo's latest console rename has been confirmed by none other than Reggie himself. That's right folks, the Nintendo Wii will now be called the Nintendo Super Hyper Entertainment System Omega G-Force Spectra Unlimited Turbo, or NSHESOGSUT for short. With the NSHESOGSUT name, Nintendo is hoping to show the gamer that their newest console means business not only from an innovation standpoint, but from a "blow you away with an ultra eXtreme name that makes Mountain Dew look like prune juice" perspective also.

While your dad is busy getting to know his brain's age, your new NSHESOGSUT will be laying some fresh grinds and busting big air while riding the back of a shark, which is in turn riding the back of a grizzly bear. The NSHESOGSUT means business and backs down from no challenge. Why, in Nintendo's first commercial, leaked to The Fanboy mere moments ago, we see the console take on an alligator, wielding a knife, in one fatal roundhouse kick that sends both reptile, and sharp stabbing object, crashing to the ground with lethal force. Now that's tough!

[Via Evil Avatar]

Seriously, I did the same exact thing at E3. What? Don't make that face, you can't give these Yakuza scum any mercy! For the sake of clarity, every time the player blocks, this is from shaking the nunchuk.

[Via Codename Revolution]