In River City, the streets, parks, and even high schools are populated by gangs of identical-looking, identically dressed teens who spend the day protecting their turf from any interlopers by beating them savagely with chains and throwing garbage cans at them. And yet, despite their efforts, turf can change hands from gang to gang in a fraction of a second -- leave the Frat Boys' area, turn right back around, and it's now the Generic Dudes' property.
Yet, to these violent, truant (except for the ones who inhabit River City High, but even they aren't in class or anything) teens, malls are sacred. A shopping center can stand between two gang warzones, and yet no Jock or Squid dares step foot into the Flatirons Mall. Shoppers walk through the center with impunity, unaware that the Internationals are just a few yards away, being kicked in the face by a guy who is standing on top of a fence and thus invincible.
Chances are those stumpy thugs would be even more reverent of River City's shopping options if they knew about Merlin's Mystery Shop. Conveniently located in the middle of the wall in the Armstrong Thru-Way Tunnel, Merlin's Mystery Shop offers rare items that provide pretty great stat boosts. We've got those items and their effects listed after the break, so you'll know just which items you'll have to beat up Benny and Clyde repeatedly to save up for.
Thanks to its largely flat surface, the NES doubles up as an ideal canvas for those wishing to spruce up their consoles with a custom paint job. Of course, you also need artistic ability, which is where we fail hideously, and eBay user hellokitty11111111111 (yes) excels.
Well, "excels" most of the time, anyway. The quality of these mods does vary a little -- we're not big fans of the Kid Icarus design -- but we do absolutely love the Earthbound, Super Mario Bros. 3, and (highly topical) River City Ransom examples. Are they worth (up to) $149.99, though? At a stretch, we'd be tempted. There's more past the break, complete with auction links.
Well folks, we're back with video commentary and ready to give you the lowdown on this week's Virtual Console releases. This week will go down in history for us, as it shows the release of one of the best NES games ever here in the United States. So what are you waiting for? Hit up the video above, then cruise past the break for the rest.
So, uh, we all know what today is, right? It's a day that will go down in history for us, the fine men and women behind Wii Fanboy, because a game of epic proportions is hitting the Virtual Console later today (12pm ET): River City Ransom, There's also some other game but we haven't even bothered to, well ... care about it. Dude, River City Ransom!
River City Ransom (NES,1-2 players, 500 Wii Points)
Phantasy Star IIIGenerations of Doom (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points)
As usual, be sure to stop back later for our video commentary on this week's Virtual Console releases. Until then, chill out at Merv Burger and enjoy one of their free smiles.
Hey, Generic Dudes, guess what? Aksys Games has announced that they are, in fact, bringing the two Technos games found in the ESRB database to the Virtual Console -- along with another one that just happens to be the best game on the Nintendo Entertainment System!
The week after that, Double Dragon will become available (which would be awesome news if not for OMG RIVER CITY RANSOM SERIOUSLY), and the week after that, Renegade. If you don't have a Wii, you should probably go ahead and buy one now, because it just got its killer app.
Sure, it's been more than a year since the first Virtually Overlooked column on February 22nd of last year, but then Virtually Overlooked is about more than what's currently available on the Virtual Console. Eh? Eh? It's virtually a year of Virtually Overlooked. Think of it this way, more VO columns makes for more value now, because we've been able to present more stuff at once in this feature. In that year-plus of columns, we've successfully predicted six games that would end up on some region's Virtual Console, and one awesome one that is about to:
Ninja Spirit: The only bad part about Ninja Spirit coming out is that it means we can't write more Virtually Overlooked about it. The good part is that Ninja Spirit still exists! Also, now it's accessible.
J.J. & Jeff: Since we told people that it was great, it has come out to overwhelmingly unfavorable response. We don't understand why people who loveWonder Boy and Adventure Island would so vehemently hate the same thing when it's about two idiots in suits instead of one kid in a grass skirt.
Super Mario Bros. 2: It's hard to believe that a major Mario series game was ever absent from the Virtual Con-- oh, wait, Yoshi's Island. Aw, now we're sad.
River City Ransom: Both Japan and Europe have it now, and all we can do is cry BARF! (and play the NES cartridge). Expect a major freakout upon U.S. release.
Renegade: Actually, this one can stay in Japan. That's fine.
Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo: Just announced for Japan, this is probably the most-wanted game from the PC Engine's lineup. It's definitely the most-wanted by us. Castlevania is serious business.
Not every Virtually Overlooked has been a success, however ... unless you consider just talking about awesome (or not awesome, but interesting) old games a "success." Which we do!
We've collected the whole set of VO columns in an easily navigable interface, ready for your random browsing. Each entry in the gallery features a boxart and an excerpt from that game's column, along with a link to the full column. Just click on Nora to check it out!
We love "Greatest of All Time" lists as much as the next guy, but Exploding Barrel's tally of the best cooperative multiplayer titles has a few glaring holes that we felt would be irresponsible to ignore. For your reference, here's their top ten:
While the list pays proper tribute to fanboy favorites like Contra and Toejam & Earl, we have a few suggestions for improving this "draft."
First on the agenda, expand the list to include the classics pictured above. Second, replace the "inferior" games with more appropriate titles. We're sure no one would mind if we switched out Doom with Secret of Mana. While we're at it, let's cross out Halo 3 and pencil in TMNT II: The Arcade Game. And Gears of War? More like Gears of Let's Play Zombies Ate My Neighbors Instead, right?
Now that you've heard our arguments, what co-op games would you rank up there?
We kind of knew all along that Street Gangs (or River City Ransom as NTSC gamers will know it) would materialize on the Virtual Console eventually. Yet even with this knowledge in hand, we still couldn't resist cartwheeling across our living rooms with joy after it appeared for really reals today on the PAL VC. People, it's Street Gangs, a.k.a. River City Ransom. Whatever name you give to it, it's a bona fide classic, and requires your instant attention.
Adventure Island is this week's second addition, yet may well go unnoticed, thanks to the game it shares this particular VC Friday with. That would be a shame, as Hudson's platformer is also worth investigating.
Hoist a trash can above your head and hit the break for footage of both!
As much as we value and admire the Virtual Console, we've always found it to be lacking in the area of River City Ransom. Our hopes that this oversight would be corrected were briefly raised in October, when the game appeared on the Virtual Console in Japan (where it is known as Downtown Nekketsu Story), but since then little has been heard about any Generic Dudes making the trip to English-speaking parts of the world.
So imagine our excitement this morning, after learning how Australian regulatory body the OFLC has approved the release of Street Gangs (River City Ransom's inferior PAL title, with matching inferior PAL boxart) and Adventures of Lolo 2 on the Aussie Virtual Console. Which, as we know from history, usually leads to a release on other Virtual Consoles.
If we fail to write any more posts for the rest of today, now you know why: it's because we're too busy running around with our jumpers pulled over our heads in fits of celebration.
This item may not look like much (despite the classy frame), but it's one of the most important items in the history of the American video game industry. Encased in this frame is American Technos's business license. This document allowed American Technos to localize Downtown Nekketsu Monogatariand release it in North America as River City Ransom. Nintendo published most of their other American NES releases, including Super Spike V'Ball and Nintendo World Cup, but the most important Technos game (and also Crash 'n the Boys Street Challenge) was Technos's own release.
Apparently, when Technos folded, they stopped paying for one of their storage lockers, and this was one of the items kept inside. We wonder what else was in that locker? Probably just a bunch of garbage cans and crates for throwing.
Reggie's recent address in New York failed to tell us much that we didn't already know, though it did throw up the slide you see above, indicating that Nintendo is promising us 200 Virtual Console games in the US by the end of this year. We can probably all agree that the world would be a better place if Pilotwings 64 and River City Ransom were included in that number.
But we digress. See, the folks over at Game|Life did the math, and discovered that would mean Nintendo has only eight Mondays left in 2007 to deliver 34 games. Average that out, and you get 4.25 games a week. Currently, of course, we only get three titles every Monday. So, is this a genuine miscalculation on Ninty's part, naughty marketing hyperbole, or will we really be seeing more retro goodness than normal pumped down our tubes in the coming weeks?
Either way, Nintendo, we are now absolutely holding you to this. 200 by December 31st or you're ripped from our BFF collage. And we do not make such threats lightly.
Nintendo of Japan just completely outclassed the meager offerings we got on the VC yesterday, even if we did get an import game. It was not a fair fight. Most significantly, our favorite NES game the best NES game is available for download in Japan today.
As we read the title, we tried to temper our excitement, afraid that we'd make an assumption out of the Downtown Nekketsu part and miss that it was actually Downtown Nekketsu Koshinkyoku: Soreyuke Daiundokai (otherwise known as the predecessor to Crash 'n the Boys Street Challenge, otherwise known as not a big deal). But we saw that the word Monogatari was in fact there, and we desperately searched for someone to high-five. It's River City Ransom! On the Virtual Console! It's only a matter of time until we're throwing garbage cans at Generic Dudes in the U.S.
Just as we were starting to catch our breath and regain feeling in our extremities, we read down the list and found Cho Aniki! Dare we even dream of such a wealth of awesome on our on VC? Probably not, but we're kind of happy just being reminded that it exists.
Most "Top Ten NES Games" lists, of which there are two hundred released every second, turn out predictable and entirely skippable, but through the power of creative video editing, ScrewAttack managed to make their tally of favorites something worth the time spent watching it. You don't have to take our word for it! Dun-un, dun!
As expected, their list isn't perfect -- if it were, River City Ransom would occupy at least seven of the spots, leaving just enough room for Super Mario Bros. 3, Mega Man 2, and an emergency copy of River City Ransom. But it would be naive to think that any collection of NES games with "Top anything" written in proximity would satisfy everyone, unless, of course, it was a list of Top Gun titles (all two of them). So feel free to comment with your own selection of "Absolutely Best NES Games Ever."
Japan gets wall-to-wall awesome this month on the Virtual Console. In total, twenty games are scheduled for release, including some really good ones. The first PC Engine CD games are on the list, including Ys I & II and the extraordinarily manly shooter Cho Aniki. Three Neo Geo games make their appearance, as well-- including Samurai Shodown. The classic Treasure game Alien Soldier will be available for download.
But by far the best news for October is a little Famicom game by the name of Downtown Nekketsu Monogatari, known in the U.S. as River City Ransom. Simply put, this is one of the best games ever made, and our lives are improved just by thinking about it.River City Ransom could be available on our own Virtual Console soon; what a lovely thought. What a beautiful world!
Nintendo's site lists the publisher as Arc System Works; it would appear that, since ASW is also publishing the DS Super Dodge Ballgame, they now own the Kunio license.
