Nintendo Wii Fanboy

The big news over at DS Fanboy got us thinking about how Sega has been using the Wii to unleash updated Dreamcast titles on us. Titles such as Samba de Amigo and House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return. Since the DS got the Cadillac of dream remakes/updates (we're still not sure yet), we were wondering what dream title, from the most dreamy of past consoles, would you want to see remade for Wii? Virtua Cop? We call dibs. Jet Grind Radio? Nice choice. Shenmue, right?

We don't normally see any reason to post rumors from the GameFAQs forum, but this time there's a magazine scan involved, so that's ... marginally more plausible. GameFAQs poster Saikobooru found a blurb in the Swedish magazine Gamereactor (or at least a convincing-ish fake of a scan from Gamereactor) stating that, like other Sega classics NiGHTS, The House of the Dead, and Sega Bass Fishing, Shenmue will make a return appearance on the Wii.

According to this rumor, the new Shenmue will be more like the House of the Dead on Wii than NiGHTS: in other words, ported versions of the two games rather than a new game, with some new minigames added. And now you can commence the inevitable debate about whether Shenmue is boring or the best game ever.

[Via NeoGAF]

A massive list of Sega games purported to be shown at TGS has been circulating around the Internet, teasing the poor souls like us who continue to love Sega. It contained a fairly complete list of every Sega fan's dreams: Shenmue III, Jet Set Radio Next, Space Channel 5 part 3, a Wii sequel to Skies of Arcadia, even a Chu Chu Rocket game. Of course, enough already-known stuff like Mario & Sonic at the Olympics was on the list to add the appearance of legitimacy.

A leaked document from an anonymous source with so many incredible scoops must be true, right? Surprisingly, no. The blogger who originally posted the rumor has retracted it with an apology. Just remember, potential tipsters: when we hear about a new Space Channel 5 and it turns out to be a false rumor, it hurts us. Be responsible with your tippery.

The following tale of Wii accessories is true. And by true, we mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer ... is no.

While Nintendo generally makes a profit on every system sold, each Wiimote actually costs over six hundred dollars to produce. On top of that, Nintendo has to maintain an active connection with each controller-- the Wiimote works by sending extremely sensitive GPS data to Nintendo, who then calculates the approximate movement relative to their Wiimote-tracking satellite, and transmits the information to the Wii via an experimental super-high-speed long-range wireless Internet connection. Oh, and also NiGHTS 2 is going to be a pachinko game.

We didn't feel like discussing real aspects of the Wii today. We do that every day. No, we just want to make stuff up. Let's discuss the really interesting things that are going on in the world of Wii-- the things that aren't actually going on.

Koei has released some new screens from Opoona, showing more interaction around the space station area. Some of the locations revealed include a coffee shop, an art museum, and a library. Little Opoona looks quite cheerful as he explores these areas, for someone who just became separated from his parents. He's the spheroid Ryo Hazuki of the future.

This latest update brings us the names of some of the characters in Opoona's world. His father and mother are called Daddiina and Mommiina, which is just adorable. Gordy, the captain of the space station's guards, a young boy named Ted who wants to grow up to be a guard, and a young honor student named Mira round out the known cast. It's starting to sound like an RPG, isn't it?

Nintendo released a single screenshot of Monolith Soft's Disaster: Day of Crisis, the natural-disaster survival game announced at E3 2006. We now have our first indication of how the game will play-- that arrow suggests a Quick Timer Event. Whether that means an action/adventure game with occasional quick-button-press segments, or a Dragon's Lair-style game, we don't know. What is surprising even to us is that we're kind of hoping for the latter. We miss those laserdisc games! Are we the only ones?