Nintendo Wii Fanboy

If you're lucky enough to have a Hastings store nearby, the entertainment retailer is offering to exchange your moth-eaten copies of Super Paper Mario or The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for a waggle-fied edition of Resident Evil 4. They'll also accept Rainbow Six Vegas (360) and God of War II (PS2), but not without scowling at you first.

According to the rest of Hastings's weekly ad, there's a buy-1-get-2nd-for-free sale on body jewelry, so be on the look out for that deal too! Put away the other two RE4 games you've already bought for previous platforms, throw on a shirt that shows off your belly-button-ringed midriff, and check past the post break for the full flyer.

Subscribers to Nintendo's mailing list received a classy invitation to Bowser and Peach's wedding early this morning. Posing for a photo to promote Super Paper Mario's release, the groom looks none too happy about the event. If the crossed arms and eye-contact avoidance aren't indication enough of his displeasure, then the literal and metaphorical distance between the couple gives it away.

Years from now, the Koopa King will look back on his glory days of battling plumbers and racing karts, regretting that he ever gave into the princess' pressures, trapping himself in this loveless marriage. He'll sigh and wonder how old age crept up on him. After finishing his cigarette on the driveway -- Peach hates it when he smokes inside -- he'll saunter back into the house that's never felt like home, pushing the memories of what once was out of his mind.

Head past the post break for the full invitation.