Nintendo Wii Fanboy

We're ridiculously crazy about Technos and their Kunio games. Normally, the release of any Kunio series game -- save Renegade -- on the Virtual Console would be cause for a weeklong celebration here on Wii Fanboy. We'd break out our special Kunio-shaped cake pans and observe the traditional Kunio Week rituals (playing games). We'd be pushing the game on you in unrelated posts, even.

Unfortunately for Super Dodge Ball, Mega Man 9 had to happen this week and distract everybody. In fact, we are also freaking out about Dodge Ball -- we just delayed our reaction a bit. We'll have our little nerdfest now, in the most counterintuitive way we can think of -- celebrating the NES Super Dodge Ball by talking about another version.

Dave was totally right in his VC Monday Madness video: I enjoy Double Dragon glitches. The best-known glitch -- and the most useful -- is the experience factory found in the second level. It's easy to completely fill up your heart gauge and unlock every move simply by walking over to the pile of girders after the climbing fence, then going back across the fence, and back again. This will cause the Williams enemy who was standing in front of the girders to disappear, and you can punch the crap out of his ghost for as long as your timer allows. Later in the same level you can defeat the boss by running away from him. He disappears and the game counts it as victory. I'm also a fan of the glitch-bat, which occurs when you swing a weapon just as it's supposed to disappear, leaving a weird bar made up of other graphical elements from the game.

But my favorite glitch in Double Dragon on the NES is at best useless and actually pretty likely to hurt you. At the end of the first area, you can climb up these -- gutters? Pipes? I don't know what they are. Really, they're just wall decoration. But you can walk straight up that wall. Walk up high enough and you'll come back up to the bottom of the screen. Walk downward and you'll die. Move left and you'll warp back to the ground. Try to jump or attack and you'll fall over. Sometimes one of the Linda enemies will try to follow you up the wall and will just end up in some flickery jiggle maneuver just off the ground.

I pretty much can't get to this part of the game without messing with the wall for a while. I can't even explain why it's so amusing. I could only find one video of this glitch in action (at around 2:50), but be warned -- it's one of those YouTube videos with audio of some guy mocking the game as he plays -- the scourge of the retrogaming blogger.

This week, during his VC Monday Madness video, Dave alluded to the fact that he had to enter a code to get past the first screen of Renegade. He was not exaggerating. Renegade is freaking impossible. Here's how Renegade works: three guys beat the crap out of you. Then you manage to get enough punches in between beatings to kill one of the guys, and another one walks out and beats the crap out of you.

Should you want to see the old ladies beating the crap out of you, or guys on motorcycles beating the crap out of you, you'll need to skip levels. Luckily, Technos included that functionality, presumably so people could experience the rest of their game. To skip levels, hold the down button on controller 2 and enter one of the following codes:

• Stage 2: down, up, right, up, left, up, start
• Stage 3: up, down, left, down, right, down, start
• Stage 4: down, down, up, up, right, left, start

Now that you can see all of Renegade's content, the only thing left is figuring out why you would want to!

A trio of games this week on the PAL Virtual Console (all of which would be dead to us if "Ninja Dragon Games" actually existed), including one we totally want, one that will probably be undeservedly overlooked in favor of the one we totally want and, um, World Games (Commodore 64), which we're entirely unfamiliar with.

The former, obviously, is Double Dragon (NES), and although we plan to download Technos' landmark game with a quickness, we feel a bit bad for The Last Ninja (Commodore 64), which deserves some attention, if only for its amazing soundtrack. Check videos of all three out after the blue words, and marvel at how barrel jumping looks ... oddly compelling.

• Double Dragon -- NES -- 500 Wii Points
• World Games -- Commodore 64 -- 500 Wii Points*
• The Last Ninja -- Commodore 64 -- 500 Wii Points*
  

* Only in Europe.

In River City, the streets, parks, and even high schools are populated by gangs of identical-looking, identically dressed teens who spend the day protecting their turf from any interlopers by beating them savagely with chains and throwing garbage cans at them. And yet, despite their efforts, turf can change hands from gang to gang in a fraction of a second -- leave the Frat Boys' area, turn right back around, and it's now the Generic Dudes' property.

Yet, to these violent, truant (except for the ones who inhabit River City High, but even they aren't in class or anything) teens, malls are sacred. A shopping center can stand between two gang warzones, and yet no Jock or Squid dares step foot into the Flatirons Mall. Shoppers walk through the center with impunity, unaware that the Internationals are just a few yards away, being kicked in the face by a guy who is standing on top of a fence and thus invincible.

Chances are those stumpy thugs would be even more reverent of River City's shopping options if they knew about Merlin's Mystery Shop. Conveniently located in the middle of the wall in the Armstrong Thru-Way Tunnel, Merlin's Mystery Shop offers rare items that provide pretty great stat boosts. We've got those items and their effects listed after the break, so you'll know just which items you'll have to beat up Benny and Clyde repeatedly to save up for.

Hey, Generic Dudes, guess what? Aksys Games has announced that they are, in fact, bringing the two Technos games found in the ESRB database to the Virtual Console -- along with another one that just happens to be the best game on the Nintendo Entertainment System!

River City Ransom. Next week. Five dollars.

The week after that, Double Dragon will become available (which would be awesome news if not for OMG RIVER CITY RANSOM SERIOUSLY), and the week after that, Renegade. If you don't have a Wii, you should probably go ahead and buy one now, because it just got its killer app.

When they made the deal for Super Dodgeball Brawlers, Arc System Works apparently got the rights to Technos Japan's back catalog. Their name shows up as the publisher of all the Technos games available in Japan on the Virtual Console, including Nekketsu Kouha Kunio. Aksys Games has been the American publisher for every recent Arc game. That would seem to imply that Aksys could publish Technos's games on the American Virtual Console. The fact that it is actually happening strengthens our theory.

The aforementioned Nekketsu Kouha Kunio, known over here as Renegade, has now been rated by the ESRB for U.S. release, published by Aksys, along with a Technos game that is more relevant to people who like good games: Double Dragon. Even more relevant: this opens the door for an American release of River City Ransom!

As much as we value and admire the Virtual Console, we've always found it to be lacking in the area of River City Ransom. Our hopes that this oversight would be corrected were briefly raised in October, when the game appeared on the Virtual Console in Japan (where it is known as Downtown Nekketsu Story), but since then little has been heard about any Generic Dudes making the trip to English-speaking parts of the world.

So imagine our excitement this morning, after learning how Australian regulatory body the OFLC has approved the release of Street Gangs (River City Ransom's inferior PAL title, with matching inferior PAL boxart) and Adventures of Lolo 2 on the Aussie Virtual Console. Which, as we know from history, usually leads to a release on other Virtual Consoles.

If we fail to write any more posts for the rest of today, now you know why: it's because we're too busy running around with our jumpers pulled over our heads in fits of celebration.

[Via Go Nintendo]

Welcome to our weekly feature, Virtually Overlooked, wherein we talk about games that aren't on the Virtual Console yet, but should be. Call it a retro-speculative.

Talking about the execrable Renegade last week put us in a Technos kind of mood. It's not really fair to Technos or to you to focus only on their one terrible NES game. Let's cleanse our palates together with a good Kunio game.

River City Ransom EX is a Game Boy Advance remake of the NES River City Ransom, which is significantly improved in almost every respect-- except boxart, unfortunately.