Nintendo Wii Fanboy

By the time the Turbografx-16/CD combo system, the Turbo Duo launched, NEC's American branch had bailed on the Turbo platform and the new Turbo Technologies Inc. was desperate. Their advertising got increasingly ridiculous and antagonistic, as evidenced by the "Johnny Turbo" series of comic book-style ads in which a pudgy superhero saved kids from the horror of having to purchase a CD add-on for their "Feka" systems (another column for another time!)

The best of TTI's amateurish, juvenile ads, however, was this promotional video for Lords of Thunder, which was mailed out through a coupon program. It consists alternately of overenthusiastic teens swearing their allegiance to Lords of Thunder and confused strangers wondering why they're being bothered. Ironically, this kind of advertising may have served to turn people away from the Duo platform. Lords of Thunder certainly can't take any of the blame for low sales. It's amazing.

The hardcore Lords of Thunder (promo tape) audience must not have been what TTI anticipated, because I purchased a copy of this video from a Hastings Video Store in 2000 for .99. It was one of many copies in a clearance video bin. How did they even get there?

We're going to have to take a break for this week's European Virtual Console update for a little media bias. Look, it's Castlevania. Some things are just sacred, or near enough to it to require a call to action. Go forth, gamers, and take up Simon's Quest. Vanquish evil. It'll make you feel good about yourself.

Oh, there are other games as well, if you're that sort of person, including the first TurboDuo title released.

• Castlevania II: Simon's Quest -- NES -- 500 Wii points
• Gate of Thunder -- TurboDuo -- 800 Wii points
• World Heroes -- NeoGeo -- 900 Wii points

Not only do we get our first originally-CD-based game on the Virtual Console, but Hudson skipped ahead and went straight to the more powerful version of their Turbografx-16 CD platform, the TurboDuo (for which Gate of Thunder was a pack-in). And by all accounts, Gate of Thunder is among the best of the Turbo's many shooters. In fact, reviewer Malc said "Gate of Thunder is living proof that there's such a thing as a perfect shmup." So it's got historical significance and, apparently, awesomeness going for it.

If you're not up for another shmup, there's also Ninja Gaiden II, which is a whole lot like the first one (which is not at all a bad thing) except you can get two shadow-clone Ryus to run around behind you like in Ninja Spirit. Or Metal Marines, which is a rarity-- a turn-based strategy game for the SNES. Overall, this is a very nice VC week-- at least all of the games should display correctly.

• Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (NES, 1player, 500 Wii Points)
• Metal Marines (Super NES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points)
• Gate of Thunder (TurboDuo, 1 player, 800 Wii Points)